A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame
by eva-unit-01
Summary: When Shinji is hurt badly by Asuka, one friend's dying promise causes Shinji to change his life and stand up to his father.
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or the characters therein. Another thing I sadly do not possess is money. So, please, don't sue me.

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Chapter One: The Harsh Truth 

Shinji Ikari sat in his wheelchair in front of the large sliding glass that opened onto the balcony of the apartment he shared with his fellow pilot Asuka Langley Soryu and guardian Misato Katsuragi. It was now verging on two-thirty a.m. as he sat and watched the rain fall hard from the heavens. He turned his head as he heard someone stumbling around the apartment and saw Misato emerge from her room unaware of his presence. She exited the bathroom several minutes later, only noticing Shinji when his silhouette was illuminated by a bright flash of lightning.

"Oh, Shinji, I didn't notice you. Having trouble sleeping?" She inclined her head slightly and walked over to him as he nodded in reply.

"Yeah, a bit." She stood behind him and placed her hands comfortingly on the young boy's shoulders. He lowered his head and placed one of his hands on hers and squeezed, grateful for the contact. "Ritsuko said I have to spend five months in these casts." He paused briefly, remembering the smile on the false blonde's face. "She said she was grateful for the fact that I broke my legs. Gave her a chance to finally practice real medicine instead of working on the Evas all the damn time." Misato and Shinji shared a brief chuckle at the statement. Lightning flashed again outside while thunder shook the building to its core and Misato winced at the sound.

"Storms were never this bad before Second Impact. I guess knocking the Earth off its axis screwed up more than the seasons. Back then there used to be four of them. Now it seems like summer all the time, not that I'm complaining mind you." Misato's smile now turned into a predatory grin. "Speaking of summer, I bought a new bikini. Wanna see?" For a few minutes it seemed like Shinji had stopped breathing until his weak voice stammered out,

"N-No Misato, I'm o-okay. Thanks." As he rolled out of the room, Misato could have sworn she smelled rubber burning on the carpet and she smiled to herself as she walked back to her bedroom.

The next morning Shinji was awoken by a loud banging on his bedroom door and the last voice he ever wanted to hear.

"Dammit Shinji get off your ass and come make breakfast! We don't have all day!" Growling to himself, Shinji hauled himself out of his bed and onto his wheelchair before rolling out of his room and into the bathroom, getting cleaned up and dressed as best he could. But before he could make it into the kitchen, he was startled by Asuka's scream. He rolled in as fast as possible and saw something that would make even his father go into shock. Misato Katsuragi, three-time winner of the Tokyo-3 Worst Household Slob contest , was up early and making breakfast for the three of them. Misato turned to them and noticed the looks on their faces alternating between confusion, shock, and outright terror.

"What?" Was all Misato said as they sat down to breakfast, with Shinji drinking juice along with Asuka, while Misato and Pen-Pen downed their customary Yebisu beers with Misato cutting loose with her usual, "Yeeeeee-hawwwwwww" They sat in silence for a few minutes after that until Misato spoke up. "Asuka, Shinji's not going to school today because of his legs." Asuka looked ready to spit fire until Misato responded by telling her it was Ritsuko's orders. With that, the fiery redhead sat back down and glared daggers at Shinji, who just looked down at his plate.

"Spineless." Asuka whispered under her breath before grabbing her bag and running out of the house at top speed towards school. When nearly halfway there she caught sight of her friend, class representative Hikari Horaki in a seemingly animated argument with Shinji's friends Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida. She joined them quickly, "Why the hell are you two stooges bothering Hikari?" Toji spoke up first, as always, but this time he grabbed her by the front of her shirt and physically lifted her off the ground.

"Because we know the truth about what happened to Shinji you bitch!" Hikari stepped forward quickly and tried to pry his hand off Asuka.

"You don't know that's what actually happened Toji!" Hikari pleaded frantically with the larger of the two boys.

"Bullshit! Kumakura in our class saw it! He saw the whole thing! Shinji landed at his fucking feet! How much more proof do you need!" Asuka had finally gotten her wits about her and landed a swift kick to Toji's nuts and he crumpled to the ground.

"Never fucking touch me again!" Asuka stormed off into the school while Kensuke helped Toji off the ground.

"Do you believe them?" Asuka asked Hikari when they had gotten to their shoe lockers. Hikari blinked, and looked down.

"I honestly don't know, I never would have thought that you could do something like that. But I've also known Kumakura since we were kids, and he's no liar." The pigtailed class rep looked hard at Asuka who simply looked back. "But if I find that it is true, I will never speak to you again." Asuka couldn't believe her ears and stormed away from the one friend she trusted. She entered the class room three minutes later and immediately found herself besieged by whispered accusations and hard glares. Five minutes later a short, skinny young man with black hair and thin wire framed glasses named Arihiko Kumakura entered the room and the whispers intensified. Asuka narrowed her eyes at him in an attempt to intimidate him, but he just walked past her without flinching. Half a minute later, Toji and Kensuke came in and took their seats, followed by Hikari. Rei Ayanami was already in her seat but was not staring aimlessly out the window as per usual. Instead, it seemed she was trying to burn a hole into the back of Asuka's skull with her eyes. The atmosphere in the room clogged with anxiety, apprehension, and more than a small amount of malice.

"Hey, Soryu!" An unknown voice called out from across the room and Asuka turned to face it.

"What?"

"I heard Ikari got knocked down the stairs"

"Yeah, so?" Ayanami turned her attention to the conversation and waited for the perfect moment to strike as the voice from across the room continued.

"I heard he got knocked down by you." Asuka stood up and slammed her palms on her desk.

"Anyone who says that is full of shit! Fuck you! If you wanna tell me that, tell me to my face!" Arihiko Kumakura was the first to stand up, along with Toji Suzuhara, Kensuke Aida, and seven other members of their class. "All you people are assholes! Shinji fell and if Misato ever asks that's what he'll say! I've seen to it!" Hikari's mouth hung open in disbelief as she tried to process what Asuka had truly said.

"S-so you really pushed him down the stairs?" Asuka sighed in aggravation and gave her an annoyed glare.

"Duh. Does anything really process in there Hikari? I swear some times you're as stupid as that baka S.." Asuka was cut off in mid-sentence by a forceful slap from a teary-eyed Hikari.

"You... bitch." Hikari wiped her eyes and walked away from Asuka permanently. Kumakura chose this time to make his move by picking up his bag and walking out of the classroom.

"Suzuhara, Aida, you know where Ikari lives right?" They nodded confusedly. "Well show me the way then." They grabbed their bags and ran to catch up with Arihiko who was already at the end of the hallway. The class rep charged after them and got there quickly.

"Why are you guys going to Shinji's?" Suzuhara turned around and looked back at her with a small smile.

"Because if he won't tell her the truth, it's up to us." Hikari's eyes widened before she grabbed her bag and left to follow them, leaving Asuka alone with her murderous classmates.

"Anyone else got something to say? Just step right up!" Someone tapped on her shoulder and she spun around quickly only to receive a heavyweight worthy uppercut delivered none other by First Child Rei Ayanami. Asuka felt her jaw snap together and was sure she heard some of her back teeth crack as her feet left the ground and her back connect with it. She sat up slowly and turned her head to spit out no small amount of blood. Asuka coughed and stood up weakly. "Nice punch, got any more." Rei narrowed her eyes at Asuka before speaking in a cold voice that reminded Asuka too much of Shinji's father.

"I've only ever struck one other person in my life, his name was Shinji Ikari, and that was a professional matter. This is most decidedly _personal_." and before Asuka could move she was struck again by a sweep kick that sent her back to the floor right before Rei's foot came down swiftly and made a permanent impression on Asuka's stomach.

While that was taking place in Class 2-A, Kumakura, Suzuhara, Aida, and Horaki continued their trek to Shinji's apartment, reaching their destination fifteen minutes later. Before reaching the apartment, Toji and Kensuke turned to Arihiko and spoke to him quietly and seriously.

"Okay, listen up Arihiko. Prepare to feast your eyes on a goddess." Kumakura raised his eyebrows in incredulity but kept listening. "Shinji lives with the hottest woman on the planet!"

"Uh-huh, right. And who is this dream woman?"

"His guardian, Misato Katsuragi" Kensuke replied, "She works for NERV as Director of Operations. And a more beautiful woman I have never seen in my life!" Arihiko sighed and looked at Hikari for help and sensing his distress she came to his rescue.

"Come on guys, we're here for Shinji, not to ogle Misato!" She grabbed Kensuke's and Toji's collars and dragged them to the elevator while Kumakura just sighed in exasperation. Upon reaching the apartment, it was decided that Hikari would ring the doorbell. "Because I'm Class Rep, that's why!" She declared in response to Ken and Toji's whining. Kumakura hadn't even volunteered.

Misato answered the door in her typical tank-top, short-shorts getup and was surprised to see the three of them there instead of in school, and even more surprised to see an unknown boy as part of the group.

"Um, hey, what brings you guys here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" They all looked at each other nervously before asking to come inside. "Sure, no problem. But who's the new guy?" Kumakura bowed politely before entering.

"Kumakura Arihiko, at your service." She blinked twice at his introduction before closing the door behind him. He took off his shoes and sat down by the table next to Kensuke.

"So, you guys wanna tell me what you're here for?" Hikari spoke up next.

"Well," she started nervously, "It's about Shinji, or more like what happened to Shinji."

"Whaddaya mean? He fell down the stairs right?" Kensuke spoke up next,

"Actually he didn't fall...he was pushed." An unearthly silence fell over the room as Misato put down her beer and walked out of the room briefly and came back with her cell phone and her sidearm. Kumakura looked at her gun and then back at her and was met with a paralyzing pair of eyes.

"Do you happen to know who pushed him?" She asked, loading a clip into her gun. Kumakura took a deep breath and closed his eyes before speaking.

"I do. It was Asuka." Major Katsuragi looked hard at him before speaking.

"Bullshit. No way."

"Ask Shinji."

"I intend to." Kumakura shook his head vehemently,

"No, right now. This instant." She gave him another hard stare before walking out of the room again and could be heard speaking softly to Shinji. She came back several minutes later with Shinji in his wheelchair. The others in the room gasped at seeing both his legs in heavy plaster casts. Shinji looked grateful to see his friends but confused at the same time. Yet upon seeing Kumakura, he panicked and tried to roll back into his room but was held back by Misato and Toji. Once Shinji was relatively calm, Misato turned her gun on Kumakura who was stunned by this turn of events. "What the hell are you doing!"

"Shinji was scared to death by you! You pushed him!"

"No way!" came Kumakura's terrified voice.

"Then tell me the truth!" Calming his nerves, he began to do exactly that and told Misato everything he saw and heard and stopped as he recalled Shinji's pain-stricken face looking up at him from the foot of the stairs. Misato's hands were shaking with rage as he finished his story. "Either you're a terrific liar or Asuka is going to die." Hikari lowered her head and tears began to stream from her unseen eyes.

"S-she all but admitted it in class. M-my best friend nearly killed Shinji." She broke down and began to sob openly in Toji's arms. Ken and Arihiko remained silent as Misato looked at Shinji questioningly. When he lowered his eyes and began crying pitifully, she had her answers. As she sat there and saw the boy she loved as a brother crying at the damage done by the girl she once loved as a sister, she realized that the fragile ties they had built were fast unraveling and could not ever be re-sown as they were.

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Author's Note: Whoa, long first chapter! I haven't written this much in years! I hope you liked it. I'm not an Asuka hater, really! I just wanted to take her to a darker level. I'll try to crank out the chapters and I'd love a pre-reader if anyone can spare the time. Please, Read & Review or else I'll never get any better! But please, for the sake of kindness, don't flame. 

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: You've read it the first time, so it goes again. I own neither Eva nor money. Therefore, suing me will help you gain neither.

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Chapter Two: The Wars we Fight Within and Without

Misato Katsuragi, twenty-nine years old had seen and heard many things in her storied life. Yet this fact, the grisly truth that a girl she had known since her years at the NERV branch in Germany had nearly killed the young boy that over the years she had come to know as a younger brother by pushing him down a flight of stairs at school shocked her to her core. She mused over this internally while holding Shinji's sobbing face against her shoulder and rubbing her hands up and down his back. Elsewhere in the room Hikari and Toji sat together, the boy holding her close to him while she cried over both Asuka's actions and the loss of the girl she once counted among her dearest friends. Kensuke and Arihiko sat across from each other, saying nothing to themselves or the people around them. Several minutes later, Toji was the first to speak up.

"So, what do we do now Misato? Wait for Asuka to come home from school or . . . ?" His question was cut off by the sound of the lock turning in the door and everyone's eyes shot toward the noise. The entrance to the apartment swung open and into the apartment walked a bruised and battered Asuka Langley Soryu, accompanied by none other than the undamaged form of First Child Rei Ayanami. Misato narrowed her eyes at Asuka's and Rei's appearances and took in Asuka's disheveled state with a single glance.

"What happened to Asuka?" She directed at Rei who remained impassive and replied in her usual fashion.

"Pilot Soryu fell . . . several times." At that Shinji could have sworn he saw Rei's forcing back a dark smirk. Misato did not reply but took notice of the shock and hatred in Asuka's face as she finally noticed the surrounding company and with a burst of strength broke free of Rei's grip and charged Shinji hard, bowling Misato over in the process. She was a scant three inches from Shinji in his wheelchair before she was blind sided by Toji, who slammed her to the ground hard also taking Kumakura with her.

"You! You son of a bitch!" Asuka screamed at Shinji. "You had to destroy everything I was! Fucking hero Shinji! Angel killer extraordinaire! I was the best! Number one sync ratio always! Me! Never you, the spineless Third Child! But no, you had to show me up every single goddamned time! Even this fucking doll beats me! I hate you, all of you!" Misato wrapped her arms around Asuka's waist and tried to pull her off of Toji and received an elbow to the chin for her trouble. The screaming and shouting continued until Shinji spoke up.

"You pushed me down the stairs because my angel kill count and sync ration were higher? Is that your real reason?" Shinji sat in his chair, looking at Asuka in shock and sadness.

"Yes dammit, that's why! Because I am the great Asuka Langley Soryu and I must always win! You could never understand! You are nothing compared to me! None of you are!" She bared her teeth and lunged again before she felt a great pain and her world turned black. When everyone looked to see what happened, they saw Class Representative Hikari Horaki holding the sidearm of Major Katsuragi by the barrel while the butt was stained with blood. Hikari's hands were shaking as Misato gently pried the gun away from the rep, who instantly fell against Toji, crying harder than ever. While the group tried to make sense of it all, a low moan emanated from beneath Asuka's limp form and Kumakura emerged with a shattered pair of glasses and definitely looked like he had taken a beating of his own while Asuka had struggled to get free she had kicked and punched him several times while she had ground his lenses into the side of his nose with her knee. He coughed briefly and stood for a few minutes, assisted by Kensuke in order to regain his bearings. Misato spoke up next,

"Everyone ok, relatively anyway?" Kumakura gave a snort and took off his ruined glasses before replying.

"Aside from the glass in my face and the fact that my parents are gonna kick my ass over ruining another pair, I'm peachy." Misato winced and looked apologetically at Arihiko.

"I'll try and get NERV to compensate for those, sorry." She nodded to Hikari and Toji and they took their cue to leave along with Kensuke. She looked around for something and came up with a ruined cell phone. "Um, Rei?" Rei nodded and fished in her bag for her phone and handed it to Misato wordlessly. "Thanks." Misato scrolled through Rei's list of numbers and found the one for Section Two quickly, seeing as how Rei has very few numbers aside from Commander Ikari and Shinji. "Section Two? This is Major Misato Katsuragi, authorization number OD-621 requesting an arrest unit to my apartment. Suspect is currently unconscious." She paused briefly, waiting for a response from the other end of the line as Asuka awoke and jumped up to tackle Misato and knock the gun out of her hands and capture it herself. As the two wrestled about on the ground Asuka gained control of the gun and leveled it at Shinji. As this happened, Rei got to her cell phone and began shouting orders into it at the Section Two officers. Kumakura came out of the bathroom where he had been pulling the glass out of his skin and charged at Asuka, jumping on top of her at the very instant she pulled the trigger, the bullet piercing his flesh and lodging in his heart. Kumakura never felt the impact due to the adrenaline in his blood and continued to rain blows on Asuka who pulled the trigger two more times before Toji and Kensuke came bursting back in after hearing the unmistakable sound of gunfire ringing out from the apartment. Ten seconds later four Section Two officers rushed in, pulling off Kumakura and slamming Asuka face down to the ground and handcuffing her before leading her to their unmarked black sedan and pulling away only to let the ambulance one neighbor called pull up. Shinji rolled his wheelchair frantically to Arihiko, who was valiantly trying to stand, only to fall to his knees.

"Shinji . . . I'm dying aren't I?" His back was to Shinji and he was leaning on the couch for support. He craned his neck as far back as he could and tears were visibly streaming from his face. "He coughed and pressed his hand to his mouth only to feel something warm coat his palm when he did so. As he pulled his hand back, he saw that it was red with blood. He closed his eyes and yelled out, "I never wanted to die this way! I wanted a family, a chance to become something greater than I am!" He wept uncontrollably now. "Promise me Shinji, that you will become great for me. Be everything that I can't be anymore. Promise me! Or else this means nothing." Shinji cried and nodded his head.

"I promise Arihiko, I promise." Arihiko smiled, nodded, and pressed Shinji's hand to his bloodied chest. With that, Arihiko lost his strength and slipped to the floor, heaving a final breath before passing away.

Almost instantly afterwards, the ambulance crew entered and attempted reviving the dead boy, to no avail. As they bore him away on the stretcher, with a sheet covering him from head to toe, Shinji howled in anguish and despair, Misato was rendered speechless, Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke all wept together, and for the first time in any of her previous lives, Rei felt tears on her face. And even after all their tears had been shed, Shinji did nothing aside from stare at his bloodstained hand as the words of his promise echoed resoundingly in his head for hours before he came to a conclusion. He wheeled himself into his room and found a Swiss Army knife given to him by Kaji as a present. He opened the large blade and grit his teeth against the pain before slicing open the palm stained with Arihiko's blood and letting it flow and mingle with Arihiko's. Shinji clenched his hand into a fist and punched his desk hard enough to bruise his knuckles and once again grit his teeth, except now, they were grit against the future.

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Author's Note: Not quite as long, I realize, and I do apologize for that. And I am sorry for killing off poor Arihiko, but he was only meant to get the story moving. Much darker chapter as well. But I would love to thank all my reviewers! You guys rock! And like I said earlier, without you guys I don't get any better.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: You've read it the first time, so it goes again. I own neither Eva nor money. Therefore, suing me will help you gain neither.

"..." indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

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**

Chapter Three: "What makes you so great . . . ?"

Shinji's cheek exploded in pain as Yusaku Kumakura's palm made contact with his face. The father of the boy who stood in the path of four bullets in order to save a boy he hardly knew was in so great a rage it seemed nothing could placate him, and they would be right for thinking so. Arihiko had been the only thing he had left of his now defunct marriage. Six months ago, his wife Ayase had filed for divorce and had run off with another man. Since then, it had been just the two of them. Yet now, there was just one, and that one leaned in to grab Shinji by the shirt and pull him out of his wheelchair before screaming at Shinji with tears running down his face.

"Who are you that my son would sacrifice his life for you! What makes you so great that he would give up everything! He was going to be a husband, a father, a grandfather even!" He sank to his knees and cried. "He had bigger dreams than this. He wasn't supposed to die before me." He let go of Shinji's shirt and fell face forward onto the dirt that covered the grave of his son and hugged it close as if it were his son. He managed to look upwards again at Shinji and asked again, "Who the hell are you to shed the blood of my son?" As Shinji looked into his grief-stricken eyes, he realized he had no answer to give him but instead shook his head and began crying himself. Soon after Yusaku Kumakura was led away by the officiating priest who led the ceremony.

After that, Shinji lost track of time as he sat there with the words, "Who are you?" running through his mind.

"_Who am I? I am Shinji Ikari."_

"**Yes you are, but who is Shinji Ikari?" **In his mind's eye he saw himself and a twin of himself, responding to his own questions. Identical in every respect, the twins looked at each other stoically.

"_I am, not you." _The twin shook his head and responded,

"**Yes, your name is Shinji Ikari, but so is mine. The question is not intended to discern whether or not you know your name. It is intended to help you figure out who you are, who you _truly_ are. As the man who took hold of you asked, 'What makes you so great?' Are you great because you pilot Eva?"**

"_No! I hate Eva! All I ever do is cause pain when I pilot it or feel pain because of it! It's my fault that Asuka turned out the way she did! That Toji's sister got hurt and that Toji lost his arm and leg! All of these are my doing!"_

"**Haven't Toji and his sister forgiven you? And when did Asuka's many insecurities and fears become your fault? I would concede the point if perhaps, say, you knew what her fears were and exploited them in order to destabilize her. But since we both know that you would never consider doing something like that, you're in the clear. However, we are veering off the course. We were trying to decipher what makes you . . . you. You say you're not great because of Eva, well, okay then. Let's see what else you can do." **The two Shinjis faded out of their neutral space and into a room with plain white walls and a wooden floor. Only two people occupied this space besides the twins. One was a tall older man, and the other could only be described as a younger Shinji Ikari. The man stood in the middle of the floor while Shinji sat on a folding metal chair holding an instrument far too large for him in one hand and a long bow in the other. The man spoke up in a deep voice,

"Very well Shinji, let's begin." The young Ikari took a deep breath and drew the bow across the strings with an earsplitting screech. Ikari winced in expectation of a sharp admonishment, only to hear a laugh and a good-natured clap. "Well played Shinji, well played. Most first time students have trouble even creating that kind of discord." One of the twins chuckled and turned to the other,

"**God, you sucked."** The other smiled faintly and replied.

"_It was only our first lesson. We got better."_ Shinji turned around and walked out of the memory and into another he was unprepared for. He turned around and saw himself at age six walking by a trash pile and seeing a bike casually thrown on top of the heap. Thinking it was just another piece of trash, and after wanting a bike for the past few months, he took it off the pile and began walking home with it. Several minutes later, he was stopped by a policeman.

"Is that your bike?" Shinji shook his head and pointed in the direction he had come from.

"No, I picked it up off the trash pile on the side of the road." The officer shook his head and pulled Shinji by the arm.

"It's not nice to lie. I'll have to take you into the station." The younger Shinji started crying while the two off to the side stood and watched as Shinji was pushed into the car and taken into the station.

"**This is where it began, isn't it? The apologizing, the feelings of sadness and loneliness that have always been a constant in our life stem from this and our father's abandonment of us." **The pair watched as Shinji's aunt and uncle burst into the station, apologizing to the officer for the boy's behavior and telling Shinji that if he wanted a bike, all he'd had to do was ask, that his father had left them more than enough money. They never listened as he constantly tried to tell them the truth and apologized over and over again. The more silent of the invisible duo nodded wordlessly.

"_I kept apologizing so many times, but they always told me to hush up and keep quiet about it. My aunt kept rambling about the shame of a thief in the family. I couldn't stand it. They never believed me after that, not about anything. Any time something happened I was the first one pointed at. So eventually I started apologizing for things I never even did, if only to be left alone." _The other nodded and they both returned to the neutral grey space they started in.

"**Did or do you enjoy apologizing for things you never had control over or never even had any part in at all?" **

"_No, I hate it, but it keeps me from being hurt. So if it can protect me, then what's the harm?" _The other Shinji vehemently shook his head before responding angrily.

"**That's the attitude that keeps you this way! You still run from reality even though you say you hate doing it!"**

"_But reality sucks!" Shinji screamed at his other self. "Why does it have to so fucking painful? Why do good people like Arihiko have to die and leave worthless jerks like me alive?" _He started crying and the other half of his self came over and sat next to him, putting an arm comfortingly around his shoulders.

"**Yes, Shinji, life is painful. Ask anyone, Misato, Kaji, even your father. They all know this fact, but what they also realize is that even though it is painful, there are things that make it worthwhile." **The grey faded out to another memory, this time of his meeting with his father at the grave of his mother.

"She's not really here, is she?" Asked Shinji kneeling over the waist high, polished black obelisk that bore the name Yui Ikari. His father looked down at the ground before replying.

"No. Even this grave is an artifice." Shinji paused briefly,

"You wouldn't happen to have any photos or anything of her, would you?" The response bordered on immediate.

"No, no photographs." Shinji took a deep breath,

"So what my teacher said is true, you cast everything away."

"Everything is kept in my heart, and I'm fine with that. Yui taught me that one irreplaceable thing." A stillness descended on the graveyard, until it was broken once more by Commander Ikari. "Don't look for me any more Shinji, only infants need their parents to teach them how to walk, and you are no longer a child." With that, Gendo Ikari walked toward the NERV VTOL craft that had landed on the outskirts of the land of the dead.

Shinji and his twin returned to the dark grey space inside himself and neither said a word for a few minutes.

"**So, what do you keep in your heart Shinji?" **The other stood in contemplation for several minutes before replying.

"_A promise. To Arihiko Kumakura." _The other raised his eyebrow fractionally.

"**But do you truly keep it or just pay it lip service?" **Both Shinjis looked at their hands, the cut on their hands bleeding freshly through the bandages Misato had used after coming into his room and seeing him sitting at his desk with blood dripping from his palm onto the white particle board surface.

"_Playing deaf, dumb, and blind isn't gonna cut it any more is it?" _The other shook his head,

"**It never did in the first place." **They looked each other in the eyes and seemed to come to an understanding simultaneously before fading out.

Shinji blinked and roused himself in his wheelchair and looked around to gain his bearings only to see Misato's concerned face hovering above him.

"You ok Shinji?" She asked nervously. "You sorta spaced out for a while." He looked at her quizzically.

"For how long was I out?" She checked her watch and looked at him oddly.

"About forty-five minutes now." He blinked and looked at his own watch quickly only to find out she was telling the truth. Her voice broke into his thoughts again. "You ready to go now Shinji?" He nodded and was wheeled off to the car with him and Misato up front, Toji with his arm around Hikari's shoulders in the middle and Rei bringing up the rear. Kensuke had come with his father and they had left already. Hikari and Toji got in first, with Toji pressed up against the side, Hikari in the middle, and Rei against the opposite wall. Misato then slid Shinji into the passenger side and got herself into the driver's side. Everyone buckled up save for Toji. Shinji spoke up,

"Unless you wanna end up on the ceiling, you really ought to buckle up." Misato shot him a dirty look and Toji just shrugged. Shinji sighed, "All right then, fair warning." With that, Misato started the car and sent pedestrians screaming and insurance premiums sky high as the 'Blue Bullet of Death' ran its course through Tokyo-3.

Meanwhile, in the Geo-Front, several miles under the surface of Tokyo-3, a young redhead stood in a large dark office, chained and shackled to a chair in front of a large desk behind which one man sat with his hands folded in front of his face and another older man stood behind him. The man sitting behind his desk spoke.

"Pilot Soryu, you are here on charges of assault against a NERV employee, attempted murder of a NERV employee and murder in the second degree of a civilian named Arihiko Kumakura. How do you plead?"

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Author's Note: Left a semi-cliffhanger at the end for you guys. Next chapter will be Asuka's trial before Commander Ikari and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki. I wanted to write some introspective stuff for Shinji and I hope you guys like it. Once again I wanna send much love to the reviewers, you guys make me sound much better than I really am! Keep reading and reviewing!

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	4. Chapter 4

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: You've read it the first time, so it goes again. I own neither Eva nor money. Therefore, suing me will help you gain neither.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought**

"..." indicates additional thought

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Chapter Four: Tried and Untrue to Yourself

Asuka Langley Soryu sat in a metal chair, chained and shackled by the wrists and ankles to the cold surface in an even colder room. Goose bumps broke out over every inch of her skin and she could have sworn she saw her breath misting in front of her. Yet the worst part of it was that her head was restrained to the chair making it so that she could only look in one direction, straight ahead . . . to the last two people she would ever want to be locked in a room with. She knew, the instant she was escorted in that her fate was sealed, and the sound of the lock sliding home into the triple thick frame of the door was the sound she equated with her doom. She shook in her chair as she looked forward at the two figures, one standing and the other sitting, lit only from behind as the artificially reflected sunlight from the Geo-Front poured in from the massive window behind the desk. A lamp from the desk snapped on to illuminate the faces of Supreme Commander Gendo Ikari and Vice Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki. Gendo's eyes as always hidden behind his orange tinted glasses which reflected the desk light, giving them an eerie glow. He tipped open a manila folder with his right hand, glanced down, and began to speak.

"Asuka Langley Soryu, Second Child. You are here to answer for your crimes, which are as follows, the assault of Major Misato Katsuragi, the attempted murder of Third Child Shinji Ikari, and the murder in the second degree of Arihiko Kumakura. I will not waste my time in asking you if you've understood your rights because as my prisoner, you have no rights." Here he paused briefly only to receive silence from Asuka before continuing. "How do you plead to the charges presented against you?" Asuka responded calmly, still staring blankly at the two senior officers.

"Not guilty." Gendo and Fuyutsuki wore mirror images of shock as Asuka gave her answer and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki spoke up next.

"Pilot Soryu, we have the testimony of Arihiko Kumakura, though second-hand through Major Katsuragi, of you pushing Shinji down a flight of stairs one week ago. Photographic evidence of the bruises incurred by you during the fight with Katsuragi. Lastly, we have ballistics and fingerprint evidence along with eyewitness accounts of you pumping four bullets into Arihiko Kumakura. You are, for all intents and purposes dead to rights on these charges. What is your defense?" Fuyutsuki finished with a look of deepest incredulity on his face. Asuka sighed before replying,

"I know what I did. I'm not stupid. I'm just saying I had my reasons." Gendo's eyebrow arched and asked,

"And what, pray tell, were those?" Asuka looked directly at him and snarled a reply.

"Shinji. Wonderful fucking Shinji. I've been training inside those damned test plugs my entire life. But then he comes along and all my hard work goes down the drain. Everyone talks about him, how he jumped in the Eva with no training at all and killed the third angel. How he saved me from the volcano, but no one recognizes that I was the one who killed the angel inside the volcano! I am the best Eva pilot, but all everyone cares about is him! Well fuck him! I'll be number one again no matter what it takes! Even if I have to kill Shinji or your favorite, that wonder-slut Rei. No one can challenge me! I am Asuka Langley Soryu and I am _superior_! Fuck Shinji, fuck Rei, I am the one! The only one!" Fuyutsuki's eyes widened, but Gendo's narrowed and he rose from the desk and walked toward Asuka, stopping directly in front of her before speaking.

"Are you telling us that a man died and two of NERV's most valuable employees were injured because you went on an ego rampage?" Asuka snarled at him in reply and was stunned into silence when the backside of his closed fist connected with her jaw, splitting her lip and loosening two of her back teeth. While her lip bled onto her unwashed school uniform Gendo returned to his desk and quietly considered things for a brief moment before speaking again. "After considering the factors in this case I have decided upon an appropriate sentence. A term of imprisonment lasting the rest of your natural life in the maximum security section of NERV's prison sector. This concludes the matter." Gendo pressed a button on his desk and two Section Two officers escorted the stunned Second Child out of the office, still shackled.

If you follow the corridor leading from Commander Ikari's office and take the elevator at the end of the left hallway down to the twenty-ninth floor you will reach the entrance to the prison sector of NERV headquarters. Follow the corridor behind those doors to another elevator in directly down the hallway about a hundred yards or so and take that one four floors down and you will reach Maximum Security. The two guards checked in at the front station with the man on guard duty for the day shift. The senior of the two guard escorts for Asuka walked to the desk and pressed the microphone button.

"Prisoner 6701 has arrived." The guard behind the bulletproof glass enclosed desk checked a clipboard quickly.

"Soryu, Asuka Langley?" he asked. The escort nodded and the man in the booth pressed a button that slid a solid steel door open. The two guards and Asuka stepped through and the door shut and locked behind them. They kept walking forward and Asuka noticed a man on an upper catwalk with a shotgun trained on her. Soon the three of them came into a locker room area and where she was handed a blue pullover garment that fell down to her knees but had no sleeves. One of the guards spoke up,

"Strip and put that on." The man ordered but Asuka shook his head and refused to comply. The younger man stepped forward but his senior held him back and asked Asuka a question.

"Would you prefer a female guard?" Asuka paused briefly and nodded. The man spoke into his wrist radio and in ten minutes a new guard arrived and took over for the other two. She looked Asuka over appraisingly and spoke brusquely.

"You have five minutes. Any longer than that and I go in and drag you out by the hair." Asuka glared at her only to receive a look that promised much worse than just being dragged out by the hair if she refused. Asuka went in and was out in three minutes with her school uniform in a plastic bag that was hanging on a rack labeled 'Personal Belongings'. After handing her the bag, the two of them started down the hall again, the ever present man with the shotgun still hovering over them. It was then that Asuka ventured a question.

"Will my uniform be washed and kept for me?" The other person never broke stride as she answered,

"You have a life sentence, and your belongings have already been removed from the Katsuragi residence and been incinerated. If anything, you will probably die down here." At last they arrived at her cell and she was shoved roughly in, but not without a few parting words. "Miss Soryu, be aware that there are rats down here and if you must use the toilet, also be aware that the pipes tend to clog down here for some reason. Goodbye." With that the door shut with a resounding clang and the sound of the lock was worse by far than the one in the commander's office.

Asuka sat on the cold concrete floor, knees drawn up to her chest to try and keep in warmth. She had finished her bread and water supper less than an hour ago and was now feeling the deep need for sleep and had unrolled her thin mattress on an even thinner metal frame. Moths bounced aimlessly around the bare light bulb and Asuka could now do nothing more than cry and cry for the first time in years. Sooner or later her tears stopped and she fell asleep on a sheetless bed.

What woke her less than fifteen minutes later was the sound of her cell door opening. She opened her eyes to see who her visitor could possibly be, only to open her eyes in shock at seeing herself at the door. She got up quickly and followed the image into an area that could only be described as a neutral space that seemed to span infinitely off in all directions in a sort of dull grey color. The cell door shut behind her and vanished in a swirling mist. She opened her mouth to ask something, only to find that the words came out without even opening her mouth.

"_Who are you?" _The other Asuka turned to her and replied with just one word,

"**You." **Asuka looked quizzically at her before responding.

"_But I am me. How can you and I both be me?" _The other just shrugged.

"**Because that's the way it is. If you wanna get technical, then I'm just another side of you." **A door appeared in the mist and the other Asuka walked through it, followed closely by the one who emerged from her cell. The room they emerged in was a pleasant kitchen, save for the torn, headless doll that lie on the floor and the corpse of Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu hanging from the light. Asuka screamed and shielded her eyes from the gruesome sight.

"_Why are you showing me this! Take it away!" _The other remained unmoving, as did the tragic tableau in front of them. The other Asuka then bent down to pick up the shredded doll and examine it before speaking.

"**This isn't the only part of our past that concerns dolls is it?" **Asuka shook her head.

"_After mom was damaged in the sync test, she became . . . unstable and kept thinking that the dolls were us. Not long after I was selected to be a Child. I remember running home to mom, being so proud of myself." _She looked up at her mother's body and paused briefly. _"Only to find this instead. My mother hanging and that doll on the floor. There was no suicide note. No trace or reason." _The other nodded.

"**You stopped crying this day. You swore to never cry again, no matter what. And you also swore to never need anyone ever again. Because needing people only brings more pain, and pain leads to tears." **For a brief second, out of the corner of her eye Asuka could have sworn she saw a figure move within the shadows of the kitchen. If the other noticed it as well, she gave no sign. Soon the room dissolved and reformed as the living room of her father's house where a younger version of herself sat on the couch while her father and stepmother argued in the kitchen.

"I don't like her." Her stepmother's voice came from the kitchen. "She never smiles and never cries. She's too grown-up for her age." Her father took a deep breath and spoke.

"I know that, but you're her mother now. Please try and make the effort."

"Only in public will I do that. Aside from that, I don't care." Asuka's eyes narrowed before she spoke.

"_That's fine. I hate her too. Those phone calls we make are nothing but bullshit anyway. Sometimes I wonder why we even go to the trouble. I don't need her anyway or anyone else. I've always said I could be fine living on my own." _This time when the figure in the shadows moved, they both saw it. _"What the hell is that?" _The other looked at her incredulously before sighing and shaking her head.

"**You'll see soon enough." **After the room disappeared, they found themselves on a green metal catwalk overlooking a single orange metal tube with the numbers 02 painted on it in black. From the catwalk Asuka looked into the Pribnow Box only to see a younger Misato Katsuragi.

"_Hey! This is the Berlin branch of NERV isn't it?" _The other nodded and answered.

"**Yes, this is one of your many sync tests and training drills." **Misato's voice sounded over the loudspeaker.

"Congratulations Asuka, 74.9 percent sync. I think that's your highest yet! Come on out and I'll take you out to eat." The plug opened and Asuka climbed onto the catwalk and walked proudly to the shower room. The other noticed and spoke,

"**You seem happy. Is it because of your sync ratio or is it that someone seems to care about you?" **Asuka sighed and thought before answering.

"_Both, actually. I was proud of my sync ratio, but even happier that I was noticed." _The other nodded and dissolved the room into a large outdoor field filled with people in black gowns and caps. In the front of that mob sat Asuka Langley Soryu in her own cap and gown. The stage was large and people were filing up one staircase and down another. Upon hearing her name she left her seat and joined the line. She reached the podium and shook hands with the university president and received her diploma before returning to her seat. After the ceremony had passed, the assorted throng tossed their caps into the air and cheered. Asuka walked away and opened the cover on her diploma, which read

Asuka Langley Soryu

Class of 2013

Ph. D. In the areas of Applied Physics

"**Your proudest moment, I think." **The other said as she read the document. Asuka laughed and nodded her head.

"_Finally, documented proof that I was something greater than the rest. I had a higher sync ratio than anyone else, not that most other people knew what a sync ratio was anyway, and a diploma from the University of Berlin in Applied Physics. And most importantly, I had fallen in love." _Asuka and the other stopped to watch her younger self who ran to greet Kaji who had come by to pick her up. _"I had everything I wanted . . . except Kaji."_

"But you deserved him." Said a voice from behind the pair who turned quickly, only to see another Asuka in a plugsuit, staring them down with a dark look in her eyes. The other Asuka snarled at the newcomer and said,

"**Hello Ego." **The true Asuka stared at the apparent third entity in her head and took a step back. The movement was spied by both parties but it was the second being who spoke up. **"Neither one of us is through with you yet."**

"Not by a long shot." Finished the one known as Ego. Two seconds later the three found themselves on the deck of the Over the Rainbow as Toji chases his wind-borne hat down the flight deck. Asuka's foot stomped it into the tarmac coated steel plating as a gust of wind blew up Asuka's yellow dress, giving Toji an impromptu eyeful only to be repaid with an eyeful of Asuka's palm, as was Kensuke and Shinji. Ego laughed at the expressions on their face. Noticing the expression on the second Asuka's face, Ego simply shrugged, "They had it coming, bunch of perverts." The second Asuka sighed and asked Ego.

"**So the wind was their fault? And you stepping on Toji's hat was their fault too?" **Ego snarled and stepped up to get in the Second's face.

"No, but the fact that they decided to ogle this masterpiece of a body is! Got it, Miss Morality?"Morality shook her head and replied,

"**No, in fact I don't."** Another slap resounded through the air. They turned back to find Toji, pants to his ankles with another palm print on his face. **"Well, that one I do agree with." **Morality stated with a small smirk on her face.

"_Small change." _Asuka replied with another smile, trying to hold back laughter. With that, they faded out to Gaghiel's attack on the fleet and Asuka's forcing Shinji into her plugsuit. At the sight of Shinji returning in Asuka's suit Ego began laughing uncontrollably as did Asuka. _"Now that is funny." _Morality shook her head and replied.

"**More like humiliating." **Ego sighed and waved her away. **"Do you ever do anything but hurt people, Ego?" **

"I don't hurt people."At that Morality raised an eyebrow before replying.

"**Oh no? Let's review." **They were about to dissolve the screen until Asuka spoke up

"_Wait, this is my favorite part of the memory!" _They turned back to the inside of the entry plug.

"Gah! There's too much noise in the system! You're thinking in Japanese aren't you? If you must think, do it in German!" Asuka blasted Shinji, who paused before nervously answering.

"Um, o-ok, I'll try. Uh, bratwurst, strudel . . . " Asuka's eyes nearly bugged out of her head before yelling at Shinji again.

"Dumbkopf! Never mind, switch language to Japanese." Inside the plug the three Asukas laughed as the memory faded to a later date with them crawling through the vent shafts of a powerless NERV headquarters. They watched as Asuka warned him not to look up her skirt only to kick him in the face several times as he lifted his head to see where he was going.

"Ha! I told the pervert to not look up my skirt as we were crawling! Serves him right." Morality sighed and responded.

"**He was only looking where he was going. He doesn't have sonar up his ass, he needs to use his eyes. And your skirt, by the way, hangs almost to your knees. If he was looking, he wouldn't have seen anything anyway." **To that, Ego had no reply. That memory disappeared and changed to the volcano mission to retrieve Sandalphon's egg. Her coolant lines had split and she was sinking, only to feel herself pulled up. Shinji's voice broke through the intermittent communications.

"Han- on As-ka. Pu-ing -ou out righ- now." At that, Ego charged the memory only to have it break into mist at her touch. She started yelling.

"Dammit Shinji why couldn't you just follow orders? Misato told you to forget about me! I could have died a fucking hero! I would have been remembered if it wasn't for you!"As Ego continued her tirade, Morality leaned in close to Asuka and began whispering in her ear.

"**Do you see now? This is all that you mean to her. You're just an effigy to burn in memory of her greatness. For immortality's sake, she will gladly kill you. She is the worst parts of you. All your hatred and fear, of others and of you, is encompassed in her." **Asuka looked at Ego in fear as that memory dissolved and showed the memory that Asuka simultaneously loved and hated. Shinji and Asuka sitting on the couch, with both Misato and Kaji at their friend's wedding. Asuka paused to look at Shinji and asked him a question.

"Hey Shinji, you wanna kiss me?" Shinji froze in shock as the question reached his ears.

"What for?" was his response.

"To kill time." Was her answer, to which he agreed reluctantly. They leaned in and their lips met. Shinji enjoyed the kiss for all of 0.5 seconds, before Asuka pinched his nose shut, claiming his breath was tickling her. They stayed that way for a few more seconds before Asuka broke the kiss and ran to the bathroom to rinse her mouth out and yell, "That was disgusting! Oh, I am never kissing to kill time ever again!" Here the memory paused and Morality walked up to Shinji studying his face. She looked to Asuka,

"**What does this expression look like to you?" **Asuka seemed confused but answered anyway.

"_He looks . . . stunned. I guess." _Ego nodded briefly and spoke up.

"He should be, after all he just kissed the great Asuka Langley Soryu."Ego tossed her hair back and assumed a position of superiority. Morality glared before answering,

"**That's not stunned, that's heartbroken. Shinji loved you." **Asuka looked shocked while Ego looked disgusted and responded in much the same fashion.

"Well we didn't love him. Who'd love that spineless twerp? He's nothing compared to us and he never will be. Me and Asuka can do fine without him or anybody else, including and especially, you. Me and her can do great things together, watch us and see!" At that point Morality was through with the kid gloves and came up to Asuka.

"**Do you really believe her? That you two are perfect together?" **Asuka nodded forcefully.

"_I don't need anyone and I never will. People betray you, hurt you, and make you feel insignificant. But not me, I am Asuka Langley Soryu and people will make room for me!" _She finished proudly with her hands on her hips and looking straight into Morality's eyes. Morality sighed and brought up another memory.

"**Let me show you what you and Ego are capable of." **Shinji walked past her in the hallway of their school right before she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and swung him around to face her as they stood by the stairwell on the second floor.

"Listen up Third. I'm the number one pilot around here, not you, not Rei, not anyone else! If another angel shows up, I'm the one who's gonna kill it. Got that? Or maybe I should just get rid of you right here and now" Shinji's eyes widened as Asuka added, " And if you tell anyone about this, I will throw you down these stairs again." She gave Shinji a hard shove only to see him lose his grip on the bannister and tumble down the stairs, snapping both legs loudly halfway down the flight. He continued to fall until he slowed to a stop at the feet of Arihiko Kumakura who looked up to see if anyone was there only to catch the steely gaze of Asuka who took off running. Morality applauded while Asuka and Ego gave her hard looks.

"**Well, well, well. It seems I was wrong. Apparently you two can do a lot with just the two of you. But the show's not over yet. Still, one more to go." **The memory changed to the fight a week ago in Misato's apartment. They watched as Kumakura pounced on Asuka, only for her to pull the trigger four times into his chest. There the memory stopped and Morality turned to Asuka. **"Now do you see? Do you understand? Ego has turned you into a murderer. Is that what you wanted? You killed one man and nearly killed another, all to protect your fragile self-worth. Was it worth it? You'll no longer find a place in a history book, instead you'll die here in anonymity. You've sacrificed so much for Ego, yet received nothing in return." **At that Asuka broke down and cried while Ego roared in anger and charged toward Morality who rammed her hand into Ego's chest, which shattered like cheap porcelain. Morality shook her head in disapproval. **"Look at how fragile you are, how easily you break." **She pulled her hand out of Ego's chest, filled to the brim with stuffing as if she were nothing more than a doll. **"Little more than a puppet of your own anger and desires aren't you?" **Morality's voice was tinged with deep sorrow as she produced a match and lit Ego's body aflame. She then took a sobbing Asuka and led her back to her cell in the NERV prison complex and sat her on her bed before walking out and slamming the door behind her.

At the sound of the door slamming in her mind, Asuka sat bolt upright on her thin bed in her cell and screamed, covered in a cold sweat and began sobbing and did not stop until well into the early morning.

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Author's Note: Long, long, long chapter. At least for me it is. I don't think I've ever written this much in my entire life. But still I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you guys have as much fun reading it. Much love to all my reviewers, you guys keep me rocking. So keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep up the highest quality work I can manage.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	5. Chapter 5

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought**

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Chapter Five: The Blood of Forgiveness, Spilled Upon the Streets

Shinji Ikari was wheeled into the NERV Medical Center by Misato Katsuragi with Rei Ayanami following closely behind. The young blue haired pilot had become one of Shinji's closest companions since Asuka's conviction and sentencing, spending more time with him than Toji and Kensuke combined. She was seen with him at lunch, on the train home, and most shockingly, she had moved her seat from her customary window-side desk to the one directly in front of Shinji, who, by all accounts seemed to enjoy the extra time with Rei. As the trio entered the examination room, they saw Ritsuko Akagi sitting in the chair next to the table that held Shinji's x-rays and medical file. The false-blonde doctor stood up as they entered and greeted Shinji warmly while Misato and Rei received only casual nods.

"Hello Shinji, feeling well today?" Shinji nodded before replying quietly,

"Yeah, I'm good I guess. You?" Ritsuko made a half nod, half shrug gesture that could be interpreted as saying so-so before speaking further.

"I'm good, could always be better you know. But like I said before, it feels good to practice real medicine instead of working on the Evas." She paused briefly, remembering the work she had done two days ago. The commander had ordered an inspection of the Eva's biological components, including the digestive tract, which Ritsuko knew was just a euphemism for giving the Eva series an enema. And so, two nights ago, Ritsuko found herself waist deep in shit, literally. Shaking off that memory, she had Shinji sit on the table and examined his legs and his x-rays before speaking again. "Well Shinji, your legs are healing exceptionally fast. You might not even need the full five months. We can take you out of the wheelchair starting today and give you crutches instead." Shinji's eyes brightened considerably at that happy news and smiled at Misato who returned it warmly until Ritsuko spoke up. "On another note, in case an angel attacks while you're in your cast, we've remodeled your plugsuit. This time, the main part of the plugsuit only goes down to where your cast begins, where you will then put these two sock-like pieces on over the cast and zip them onto the main part of the suit, then pressurize as usual. Got it?" Shinji nodded and Dr. Akagi tossed him one wrapped in the usual shrinkwrap. "Try it on, tell me what you think." Shinji began turning around, looking for a change screen to duck behind. He looked around three times before Akagi's patience finally broke. "Oh for Christ's sake Shinji, it's not like I've never seen it before!" Shinji turned bright red and began taking off his clothes as Misato spoke up teasingly.

"Oh come on Shinji, you should be proud of your _endowments_. I know I was when I saw it." Ritsuko's eyes shot to Misato as Shinji's shoulders stiffened and he resumed his task.

"And when did you see that part of Shinji, Misato?" Ritsuko asked trying to keep her voice as level as possible. Misato shot her college friend a small smirk before replying.

"Oh, every now and then. You know how it is when you live with someone, you walk in on each other, see things you shouldn't. And before you know it, one thing leads to another. But you wouldn't know that would you, unless maybe you walked in on two of your cats humping." Ritsuko turned bright red and let go a tirade at Misato.

"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MISATO! HE'S JUST A CHILD! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WERE YOU THINKING AT ALL? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS COULD DO TO HIS PILOTING?" She broke off as she realized Misato was holding onto her sides from the unbearable laughter.

"Pilot Ikari has finished dressing." Rei interjected as soon as Misato's laughter had tapered off some. The group turned to look at Shinji in his new model plugsuit and Ritsuko picked up her clipboard and shot Misato the darkest look she could muster before asking Shinji some questions about the new design.

"How's it feel Shinji?" He flexed his fingers and moved his wrists around.

"Pretty good, same as always I guess." She nodded and made notes before asking another question.

"Barring the legs, how's the movement?" Shinji bent forwards and leaned back, finally turning his torso to the left and right, answering simply.

"Feels good." Ritsuko nodded in satisfaction and was about to ask him to change back into his normal clothes when the angel alarms went off inside the medical ward. Rei dashed off for the locker rooms and Ritsuko and Misato got Shinji into his chair and wheeled him to the elevator that would deposit them closest to Cage 12, where Eva Unit 01 was currently located. They wheeled Shinji to the cage where several technicians helped Shinji into the entry plug while Misato and Ritsuko made their way to the Command Center.

"About time." Growled Commander Ikari from his seat in the highest level of the bridge. Fuyutsuki as always stood unmoving behind him. Down on the main level, Misato, Ritsuko, and the three main bridge technicians Shigeru Aoba, Hyuuga Makoto, and Maya Ibuki were receiving reports from the rest of headquarters and the city above.

"All civilians reported to have reached shelter." Aoba called out quickly, followed by Makoto.

"All city blocks lowered and secure." Ibuki responded next.

"Both Eva pilots in their entry plugs and ready for dispatch. The target is holding at a steady altitude just beyond the atmosphere." Fuyutsuki grimaced and spoke.

"Clever bastard is just outside of positron range." Gendo nodded before replying.

"We may require the Lance of Longinus in order to defeat this angel."

"The old men will be angry. It's one of the key pieces in their plan to control Instrumentality" Gendo snorted at his right-hand man's comment.

"I care little for the ramblings of those . . . antiques." With that, Gendo turned his full attention to the drama unfolding below him.

"Is the object moving closer to the atmosphere?" Misato asked quickly only to receive a reply just as quickly from Hyuuga.

"Negative. The target's position is stable." She thought for a second and made a decision.

"Move Unit 00 to launch path 17 and place a positron rifle in the supply building to the immediate southwest."

"Belay that order." Came the forbidding voice of Commander Ikari from above. "Send out Soryu in Unit 02." Shock and disbelief were etched on the face of all those present in the room.

"You want to put a murderer inside an Eva unit and send it out into combat?" Misato's shocked voice rang through the cavernous space, causing a smirk to form on the lips of the elder Ikari, although it lay hidden under his white gloves.

"Dr. Akagi has been good enough to remove any controls from the D Drive in Unit 02 and place them at my console. If Pilot Soryu attempts to self-destruct her Eva inside headquarters, a small amount of plastic explosive will destroy the entry plug. If she attempts to escape in the Eva I will use the self-destruct and eliminate both her and the Eva. Therefore as far as I am concerned, she is nothing more to me than live bait. Send her out." The horror of Commander Ikari's brutal logic was etched into Misato's face and mind as she turned back to the console and spoke to Hyuuga quietly.

"Retrieve Asuka from her cell and place her in Unit 02." He turned to her questioningly.

"Ma'am?" She turned back to him quickly and shot a reply at him.

"Do as I say dammit!." He turned back to his console quickly uttering a fast,

"Yes ma'am." Three minutes later Asuka was in the locker room, putting on her plugsuit slowly and attaching her neural clips to her hair without speaking a word. She walked out of the locker room at a solemn pace to her Eva and climbed inside. Ever since the events nearly two weeks ago, when Ego and Morality had battled for control of her mind and Morality had what seemed like a decisive victory, Asuka had changed a great deal and now spent more time considering the injustices she had committed to the world and to herself, than the injustices done upon her. Yet now, as she sat in the entry plug and watched the LCL now reaching her knees she swore she could hear Ego's voice, however faint it might be, egging her on, telling her that she would show them all how good she was today. Asuka shook it off, reminding herself of the memories she saw and all the people her and her ego had brutalized. Seconds later the walls of the entry plug shifted and she heard Misato's voice telling her to proceed to launch path 17.

"10-4." Was Asuka's only reply as she made it to the high-powered lift elevator and waited for the launch order.

"Launch way 17 clear. You've got the green light Major Katsuragi." Said Aoba as he typed a series of commands to energize the capacitors for the elevator.

"Eva launch!" yelled Misato as Asuka was once again shoved down into her seat by the sheer velocity of her ascent only to be followed seconds later by the harsh jarring of the sudden deceleration at the top of the shaft. She stepped out of the shielded building and raised her A.T. Field to full power and only to get hit by a blinding white light, throwing her mind out of the entry plug and back into memory.

Asuka's tortured screams echoed through the command center and into Shinji's eardrums. He slapped his hands over his ears and yelled into the intercom.

"Misato! Is that Asuka out there? What the hell is going on?" Misato's face appeared on the vidscreen looking anxious but forced her voice to remain calm.

"Shinji, you will remain on standby due to the instability of your unit and Rei will be moving to intercept at Launch way 12. Asuka will be the decoy while she takes out the angel. You are to remain in backup capacity only" Shinji looked aghast at the news and spoke again.

"So I'm supposed to simply stand by while Asuka gets tortured by that thing! Screw that!" With that Shinji powered up his Eva and ran to Launch way 19.

"Shinji! Stand down now! That's an order!" Misato's words had no effect on Shinji as he jumped onto the platform and expanded his A.T. Field. He crouched and pulled the manual capacitor charge lever installed since their power loss incident several months ago. He pumped the handle 12 times to achieve the charge before pulling the release lever and shooting up toward the surface, using his A.T. Field to punch through the many armored plates guarding the shaft. He broke onto the surface and saw Asuka's eva standing in place as though hypnotized. He yelled at Asuka through the comlink and only heard her agonizing cries.

Back in the command center, all was pandemonium as they saw Shinji shoot through the shaft toward the surface. Opening a private comlink, Commander Ikari spoke only three words to Rei before closing the window, not even waiting for a reply.

"Retrieve the lance." Rei turned out of the cages and walked her Eva to a hidden elevator in the back of the service bay that connected to Central Dogma. She descended to the main shaft, reaching Terminal Dogma seven minutes later and stopping in front of the white figure nailed to the cross, its face covered by the SEELE insignia. An upside down triangle with a line down the middle with four eyes on the left side, and three on the right. Using all of her Eva's might, she pulled the lance out of the chest and watched as two leg stumps seemed to grow out of the lower torso. On the surface, the real battle was waged in the minds of the two pilots.

Asuka once again found herself in the grey space that denoted her inner mind. She stood once again in the kitchen with her mother hanging grimly above her. Only this time it was her and her alone. No Morality or Ego to ask her questions or taunt her. But she turned as she caught a slight rustling sound behind her, accompanied by a soft thump and without warning she was caught by the throat by the corpse of her mother who was intent on choking the life out of her.

"Asuka." The choked voice said, raw from strangulation and still with a livid rope burn around her neck. "Don't you want to join me? Your mother? You don't want to leave your mother do you?" Asuka snarled and gained some strength.

"_You are not my mother! Get the fuck off me you freak!" _She pushed the doppelganger of her mother away from her and stared it down only to be shocked back into reality by the sound of Shinji's screams. She moved the Eva's head as best she could only to see Eva Unit 01 in the same place she had been earlier and could do nothing except watch.

Shinji soon found himself in the same place as Asuka, only to find himself in Misato's apartment, in his wheelchair once again as Asuka lay on the floor unconscious. He dimly heard water running in the bathroom and Misato calling for Section Two's arrest squad. Once again Asuka leapt up and tackled Misato for the gun. Shinji saw Arihiko burst out of the bathroom and instead of Arihiko jumping onto Asuka, Shinji rolled forward and did it himself, feeling the first bullet tear into him. He gritted his teeth and refused to cry out, only to receive Asuka's shocked look.

"_I refuse."_ was all Shinji said. He repeated it again with more force, _"I refuse." _Asuka looked at him with even more surprise as Shinji threw back his head and yelled. _"I refuse to run from this! I refuse to run from this pain! I'll take this pain if I can keep the ones I love safe! I can't run any more, not from the angels, my father, NERV or Eva! This is my pain! Showing me this was the best thing you could have ever done for me because now I know what I have to do! I have the choice to run or stay, I always did, and now I've chosen!" _With that Shinji brought his fist down one last time onto Asuka's face, which shattered like glass and faded his world to black. He awoke in the entry plug several minutes later with Rei at his side, helping him out of his seat.

"The angel?" He asked, still quite dizzy and with a severe headache.

"It has been eliminated by me." Rei replied calmly. "Watch your step, Shinji." The young boy blinked at the use of his first name by the consistently formal First Child. He made it to the ground without incident and his eyes widened at the sight of Asuka's Eva still on its side on the other end of the street.

"Rei! Help me to Unit 02!" Rei put her arms under Shinji's, enjoying the contact, though if you ever asked she'd deny it. Together the two made their way to their downed fellow pilot's fighting machine. Rei climbed up and activated the manual entry plug release. Shinji wrapped his hands around the door handles and leaned against the side of the building she'd impacted against and spun the door open. Rei went in and carried Asuka out thirty seconds later. The sound of sirens in the distance told them the recovery crews would be there soon. Asuka opened a bleary eye and upon seeing Shinji, she wept.

"Why?" She asked, not even trying to hold back the tears. "I hurt you. I wanted you dead. Why come for me? I'm so fucking pathetic." Shinji laid her head on his shoulder and she let loose a torrent of water from her eyes.

"I couldn't leave you there. I know I had every right to, but I couldn't. I could never stand to hear others cry . . . especially not the ones I considered friends." Asuka's eyes widened at the sound of his voice, it had seemed so meek before but now, seemed to hold a wealth of resolve. It was at that moment that she realized that the resemblance to his father that he so despised was far more than skin deep. "Asuka, do you think we could ever, y'know be friends again one day?" Asuka's shock grew deeper but she couldn't hold back the smile from her lips.

"I'd like that . . . Shinji." He smiled calmly before replying.

"Just as long as I remember who's number one right?" She grinned and closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Nah, you can keep it. Egos can get you into more trouble than you think." With that, she fell unconscious in the arms of Shinji Ikari as Rei Ayanami looked on in something akin to sadness in her heart.

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Author's Note: If this chapter doesn't prove to you guys that I'm not an Asuka basher, nothing will. But anyway, my first battle scene in my first fic. Hope you guys found it up to your high standards. And finally, perhaps a hint of romance for you lovelorn types. Much love to all my reviewers, you guys try to help me bring out the best in my writing and I'm much happier for it.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	6. Chapter 6

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

Special note for this chapter, Stand by Me was written by Ben E. King, Jerry Lieber, and Mike Stoller. All rights belong to them, not me.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

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**

Chapter Six: Moonlight Reflected in Tears

"Ikari!" The fierce voice of Keel Lorenz thundered from the black monolith placed directly in front of Commander Ikari's desk. "How dare you put forth the Lance of Longinus without our permission!" Gendo remained impassive, hands as always folded in front of his mouth, pausing briefly before replying.

"It was the only way to destroy the angel. It was smart enough to stay well out of the range of our weapons." The monolith numbered 07 spoke up next.

"Perhaps Ikari, you do not realize that it was one of the few physical implements we had at our disposal with regards to our agenda of Instrumentality." Commander Ikari remained facing forward as he answered.

"I am well aware of the lance's value, but the destruction of the angels is our top priority. Without their defeat, your precious agenda is nothing more than dust . . . as are you." Fuyutsuki winced at Gendo's harsher than usual words toward the members of SEELE as a tomblike silence settled over the room before Keel's voice resonated over the chamber once again.

"Ikari, we will confer. And next time, I suggest you hold your cheek. Your position is tenuous, at best." With that, the monoliths faded from view and the two commanders stood alone in silence until it was broken by a rather shaken Kozo Fuyutsuki.

"I can't help but feel that your taunts were ill-placed, Ikari. They may decide to begin acting more aggressively." The younger man sighed with a combination of exhaustion and annoyance and sat still for several minutes before acknowledging his former teacher's point.

"Perhaps they will, but as long as we have the Evas they won't dare harm us. They are nothing more than dinosaurs whose extinction date has long since passed." He paused briefly before looking calmly ahead and speaking again. "We are almost to the end of it, only three angels left before the gates of Destiny are thrown wide to the human race and I will be reunited with my beloved Yui. But there is still much to be done." With that, Ikari and Fuyutsuki left the chamber and continued the work that would be either humanity's salvation or damnation.

Back on the surface and in his bedroom, Shinji Ikari was having trouble sleeping. He tossed and turned on his futon, unable to get even the slightest bit of rest. Looking at the clock he saw that it was 2:37 in the morning and groaned. He laid back again for about five minutes and decided in frustration that there was nothing he could do to get himself to sleep. He got himself up on his crutches and hobbled to the balcony and sat on one of the chairs and smiled as a cool breeze blew his way only to hear a soft knock at the door. He moved toward it, thankful that Misato was pulling an all-nighter at NERV. She hated to be woken up in the middle of the night.

Shinji found that out after a memorable night when Asuka had screamed and run to Misato, claiming that Shinji had felt her up in the middle of night. Misato went into his room only to find him sleeping like the dead. She turned her wrath on Asuka, who turned hers on Shinji who had woken up from all the noise. He suggested that they check Asuka's room and had found a snake that had escaped from a neighbor's apartment. It had slunk down a rain gutter on the outside of the building and got into Asuka's room via an open window. It searched for a warm place to sleep and instead found the inside of Asuka's shirt. When she had woken up screaming, it made a beeline for the closet, where it feasted on the hand of Shinji Ikari, who found it. Luckily for Shinji, it wasn't poisonous. Instead, it had turned out to be a young anaconda, only six feet long.

Shinji shook those thoughts off and made for the door. He looked through the peephole, only to find Rei Ayanami standing outside. He opened the door, completely bewildered as to why she'd show up at his place at 2:45 in the morning.

"Um, hi Rei. Something wrong?" Shinji asked, looking at Rei quizzically. She simply looked at him, with a sense of sadness and loss ringing through her gut though none of it displayed on her face.

"May I come in?" was all she asked and Shinji nodded and stepped aside to let her enter. Without warning she let her head fall on his chest and she began to cry. Shinji stiffened slightly, before placing his hands on her shoulders and pulling her close.

"Ayanami? What happened?" She looked up at him with tear-streaked eyes and he led her over to the table inside the apartment. She wiped her eyes and looked at Shinji carefully before asking her question.

"How do you feel about . . . Pilot Soryu?" Shinji blinked hard, twice. He wasn't sure if he was hearing things but he was relatively sure Rei Ayanami had just asked him about his feelings for Asuka. He opened his mouth but no words came out for a minute.

"I don't really know. I mean, she can be nice when she wants to. But I got the feeling that something changed her during the last angel attack." He paused briefly, smiling. "I think she's gotten over something finally, and I hope she gets better. I don't want to see her in pain anymore." Rei's head drooped significantly and she asked her next question so quietly it was barely a whisper.

"Do you love her?" That question just about sent Shinji into cardiac arrest and grasping for an answer.

"L-love her? Um, well, I dunno." He paused, and took a breath and a minute to think of a real answer. "In a sense, I'd suppose so. She's a good pilot, and a great friend when she wants to be. But if you're asking if I love her romantically, then I'd have to say no." Shinji couldn't help but smile at the way Rei's eyes lit up as she got up to leave. "Um, Rei, I was out on the balcony when you came up here. Would you like to go out there with me?" Rei looked at Shinji and smiled.

"I...would like that." Rei helped Shinji onto the large patio chair he had been on earlier and sat next to him. As Shinji leaned back onto the chair, Rei leaned on top of him and rested her head on his chest. Rei's smile was hidden by the angle of her face and Shinji couldn't feel anything save for the burning in his face, yet both felt comfortable and they both felt for a split second that they could almost believe the line that they both knew was a crock.

"_God's in His Heaven, and All's Right With the World"_

The moonlight shone brightly above them and Shinji began humming a song that the teacher he had lived with always played when he looked at a photo of his late wife. And after a while Shinji began to sing.

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we see

No I won't be afraid

No I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling stand by me

Oh now, now, stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall

And the mountain should crumble to the sea

I won't cry, I won't cry

No I won't shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling stand by me

Oh, stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me

Oh now, now stand by me

Oh, stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Darling, darling stand by me

Stand by me

Oh, Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

As Shinji finished singing, Rei looked up at him with tears silently running down her face. Her tears were reflected in the moonlight, making them appear the color of sterling silver. She had come with two intentions, firstly to ascertain his feelings for Pilot Soryu, and second to reveal Gendo's true intentions. Now that she lay here with Shinji's arms around her and a look of utter peacefulness on his face, she found the burden far too great and got up to leave.

"I must leave now Shinji." She said with a thick voice, choked by sadness and grief. She got off of him, only to be pulled back into his arms. She turned to him and kissed him on the lips softly. "I will miss you." Was all she said as she turned back around and pulled on her shoes. She exited the apartment and walked to NERV. She entered the facility and made her way to the prison sector. Along the way she encountered many security checkpoints, only to breeze through each one. She stopped at maximum security and made her way to Asuka's cell. She opened the door, awakening Asuka with the harsh light.

"Wha?" was all Asuka could form due to the rude wake-up call. She blinked and let her eyes focus until they came to rest on Rei's form. "Oh, wonder-girl, it's you. What do you want?"

"We need to talk." Was Rei's vague reply. Asuka raised her eyebrow, having come up with nothing that the pair of them needed to discuss.

"We've got nothing to talk about so let me go back to sleep." Asuka laid back on her shoddy bed and Rei leaned back against the wall opposite her and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm going to die tomorrow." With that, Asuka shot up and looked at Rei with disbelief.

Shinji stood stock still and stared at the door Rei had just left from and touched his lips gently. He locked the door and went back to bed, still in disbelief that Rei had kissed him. As it sank in, Shinji felt a smile begin on his face that stretched ear to ear and before long had fallen into a deep sleep. He was awoken at eleven a.m. tomorrow morning amid Misato's yells and the sound of the angel alarms. As he ran out of the apartment, he caught sight of the angel, little more than a bright ring in the sky. The sixteenth had arrived.

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Author's Note: Sorry I've been away for so long, but I wanted to take some time off for the Easter holiday. Cliffhanger ending, fluff in the middle. I just wanted to show Shinji some happiness before the next chapter takes it all away from him. I hope you like it. Once again, much love to the wonderful community of readers, writers, and reviewers that give me the strength to keep on going. You guys rock.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	7. Chapter 7

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Seven: All the Hands of Hope have Withdrawn

Alarms blared throughout the NERV complex as Rei Ayanami got dressed in her plugsuit and prepared to board the entry plug for Unit 00. Her two fellow pilots, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu were also suiting up to board their Eva units. As the trio entered their plugs, Misato's voice came through the com network.

"Rei, you will take point with Asuka as back up and Shinji will remain on standby, clear?" All three pilots answered in the affirmative and Unit 00's restraint bolts were removed, clearing the Eva unit for transport to the launch elevator, followed by Asuka's Unit 02. As the blue haired pilot sat in her cockpit, she mused over the events of the previous night. Coming to Shinji's, asking him about his feelings for her and Asuka, and the sound of his singing, followed by the soft kiss they shared under the moonlight. Then she recalled her visit to Asuka's cell and their talk about this angel and the things that were scheduled to come after, especially her death, at the hands of the angel she was now going to fight. Contrary to Rei's belief, Asuka was far from pleased at the news of her rival's death. Instead, Asuka had sat there with her jaw set firmly.

"I do not wish to cause Shinji more pain." Rei mused as she sat in the cockpit, awaiting the launch order from Misato. Her thoughts were disturbed as Shinji's voice echoed in her entry plug.

"Rei, about last night, I um, would like to spend more time with you." He paused, and it sounded to Rei as if he had taken a deep breath before speaking again. "What I really wanna say is, that I . . . would like to be your b-boyfriend. That is if you want me to be." There was dead silence as Shinji nervously awaited an answer. She closed her eyes and cursed fate for several minutes before answering.

"I will speak to you about this after I have defeated the angel." She waited for Shinji's reply and he answered quietly, as though sad.

"Oh, ok then. I'll see you after." Less than five seconds later Misato came back on the radio system.

"Rei, when you get topside push your A.T. Field to full power and maximize the spread, got it?" Rei acknowledged the command simply.

"Yes, Major."

"Eva launch!" came Misato's yell and Rei felt herself jarred down into her seat by the thrust of the elevator, reaching ground level in 30 seconds. Asuka herself shot upwards three minutes behind Rei. Rei recovered quickly and stepped out of the elevator in front of the angel, which looked like nothing more than a ring of bright white light in the sky, shaped like a double helix pattern. Upon receiving a visual of the target, she radioed the command center.

"A.T. Field full power, maximum spread." As soon as her A.T. Field expanded, the angel became a straight line that shot into the gut of her Eva and began spreading through it, creating thick lines inside the armor and biological components that resembled veins. Soon, the contamination reached the entry plug, creating the same vein effect on her body that it had in the Eva. Rei screamed as unbearable pain wracked her body. She dimly heard Misato order Asuka to help her, and to her surprise and dismay, saw Asuka follow the order. "I told you not to help me, Soryu." Asuka's red Eva rushed out with its arms outstretched, ready to pull the angel out of Ayanami, only to have the back end of the angel split into two parts and bury themselves in the hands of Unit 02. As the pain lanced now through Asuka's body, the red-haired pilot thought back to the previous night in her jail cell

"I am going to die tomorrow." was all that Rei said and it was enough to shock the German pilot into silence for several minutes. "Tomorrow the sixteenth angel will arrive." Asuka lowered her head before speaking.

"Does Shinji know?" Rei shook her head and Asuka sighed before Rei spoke again.

"If I am overcome by this angel, I do not want you to help me." Asuka snorted derisively and shot a dark look at Rei.

"Fat chance of that. You think I'm just gonna let you die? Think again wonder-bitch. I've caused Shinji too much pain to let you sacrifice yourself and do nothing. You're out there, and I'm in here. No one will care if I die, except for Shinji." Rei looked at her with sadness in her eyes.

"Pilot Soryu, I mean A-Asuka, I beg you not to involve yourself. It will only mean your death and I do not think Shinji can withstand the loss of us both." Asuka simply shrugged before answering.

"I know what the risks are Ayanami, and I'm willing to accept them as long as there's never another tear on Shinji's face caused by me." With that, the conversation ended and Rei left Asuka's cell.

The angel's infections spread through both Evas as the comlink in Asuka's entry plug activated and Rei's voice filled the plug.

"I told you not to involve yourself Pilot Soryu." Asuka chuckled softly and replied.

"And I told you I'd be damned if I made Shinji cry again." Asuka laughed again and spoke once more. "All this time, we could never agree on anything, now we're dying together and all we can agree on is trying to do what's best for Shinji." Rei gave a faint smile at that.

In the command center, Misato and the bridge crew could only watch and listen as the angel infected both Evas and their pilots.

"Use the eject codes, hurry!" Ritsuko yelled at Maya, who yelled in response.

"Rejected by the Eva!" Rei's voice came crackling through the speakers weakly, as though it were taking great strength to speak.

"Stand by, activating D-drive." Immediately after her transmission, an identical one was given by Asuka. Shinji's voice burst through frantically.

"NO! Rei! Asuka! Misato let me out of here! I've got to help them! Dammit Misato, get me the hell out there! Rei, don't die! Don't leave me alone here you two! Rei I love you! Please, for the love of God! Father! I have to save them!" Hyuuga's voice gave off a sort of petrified calm born of shock and fear.

"Fifteen seconds to detonation." Rei's voice came through the speakers softly,

"Shinji, I will miss you. Remember me in the moonlight." Hyuuga cut in, somberly continuing the countdown.

"Thirteen seconds." Next came Asuka, whose D-drive was also running.

"Hey Shinji, I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry, for everything. I also wanted to tell you that I'm a liar. You're actually a really good kisser."

"Ten seconds." Hyuuga's countdown resumed. At that, Shinji used the massive arms of his Eva to pound away the restraints that held Unit 01. As soon as he was free, he made his way to the launch elevators.

"Seven seconds." The bridge tech's interminable voice made its presence known, marking time, waiting for death.

"Increase the LCL pressure on Unit 01." Gendo's command rang through the bridge, making Misato close her eyes in despair as she relayed the command to Maya Ibuki, who reluctantly followed the order. Shinji was five steps to the elevator when he felt the weight of something resembling an anvil on his chest, cutting off his breathing process. The Eva stopped in place and Shinji, immobilized could do nothing but listen to Hyuuga Makoto count the last four seconds of his best friend's lives.

Shinji saw Rei's tears in the moonlight, Asuka's smile in the vidscreen after pulling her out of the volcano. The _Over the Rainbow_, and the fifth angel. Delivering Rei's ID, and kissing Asuka with his nose pinched shut. All these memories flooded Shinji's mind as Hyuuga reached two on his countdown. In a final gasp of strength, Shinji's hand, as well as the Eva's, shot up to the sky whilst above, the lives of Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu ended with a roar of thunder and a flash of light so brilliant that even the personnel on the bridge had to shield their eyes. The flash reflected on the mirrors that angled the sunlight down into the GeoFront and caused the tops of the trees in the GeoFront's forest to catch aflame, where they burned a bright red. Yet the young boy who lay imprisoned in his Eva unit, hundreds of feet below the surface cared not. Instead the boy wept, and let out a scream of grief so great that Unit 01's own roar seemed dwarfed by it.

Shinji Ikari left the dressing room and wandered aimlessly through the halls of NERV, avoiding as many people as possible. Right now, all he wanted was to be alone with his grief. He sat on a row of black plastic chairs and put his head in his hands, sobbing deeply. He turned around and saw on the wall behind him the NERV logo with the words below it had for a split second believed last night with Rei in his arms.

"_God's in His Heaven and All's Right With the World."_ He stared at it and grit his teeth in anger before picking up the chair he was sitting in and slamming it against the logo on the wall, letting out a small scream of anger every time he hit the wall. He raised his arm to hit the wall for the eighth time before a strong arm grabbed his wrist from behind and spun him around only to receive the boy's right fist in his face. The man who grabbed him forced Shinji to the ground, but Shinji kept hitting the man and yelling.

"Get the fuck off me! I hate this place and everyone in it!" Shinji kept pounding the man's chest, only to run out of steam and collapse against him, crying uncontrollably. The man held Shinji close to his chest and let him cry. Shinji looked up at the man he had hit only to see his father's face, swollen badly along the left jaw line where Shinji's punch had landed. As soon as Shinji saw his father, he got up to leave, but Gendo held him firmly by the back of his shirt collar. He tossed Shinji into a chair ungently and sat next to him. "What do you want?" Shinji asked harshly. Gendo just gave Shinji a half-impressed smirk and answered.

"I wanted to see what the noise was. I found you pounding the wall." Gendo took a deep breath as his son remained motionless for several minutes before speaking.

"That motto is a crock." Shinji said tiredly. "I doubt you'll find one person in here that actually believes it." Gendo chuckled,

"Your mother believed it, in fact she selected it. Back when we founded NERV." Shinji's eyes shot up.

"You and mom founded NERV?" Gendo nodded with a faint smile,

"Yes, we did. Your mother, Professor Fuyutsuki who is now Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, me, and Ritsuko Akagi's mother, Naoko Akagi." Gendo paused briefly before continuing, "But in any case, you're right, it's a total fallacy. I don't know if this helps you at all with your grief, but right then you reminded me very much of myself, right after I lost Yui. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a great many things to do." With that Gendo walked away from a stunned Shinji and made his way to his office. He stood in front of the large picture windows that overlooked the GeoFront's forest and watched the fire crews try to douse the blaze. He walked to his desk and opened a drawer to pull out a small framed photo of himself and Yui. Gendo pressed a small button on his desk and a section of the wall shifted to reveal a small bar. He set the photo of Yui on the topmost section of the bar and looked in the mirror. He looked at the photo and then back into the mirror. Without warning he let out a yell and threw his fist into the mirror, shattering it and slicing his hand deeply. He looked at Yui's photo again and clutched it to his chest before sinking to his knees and weeping.

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Author's Note: A dark chapter for you guys tonight. Not a rainbow in sight for Shinji now. I hope you guys like it. More love for my reviewers! You guys keep me on point and I thank you guys for it! Keep reading and reviewing!

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	8. Chapter 8

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Eight: The Unbearable Heaviness of Being

A recovery team of sixteen NERV technicians combed the area of the combined detonation of Units 00 and 02. The massive explosion had leveled more than 85 percent of Tokyo-3, and what was left was mostly blackened by heat. A shout went up from one side of the field to the west. The crews ran over to find the partially melted remains of the two entry plugs. The workers used an acetylene cutting torch to open the plugs. Both held the same thing, the burned and blackened corpses of Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu. The head of the recovery group turned to the rest and spoke quickly.

"Bag up any and all debris, and have the bodies sent to NERV medical for the official postmortem. The entry plugs will be cleaned thoroughly and melted down." After those orders were given, the person in charge phoned Commander Ikari directly.

"I see, so the second is dead. No matter, activate the third and recover whatever memories you can from the second. Thank you for the update Doctor Akagi." Gendo hung up the phone and resumed studying the file on his desk. "So the Fifth will arrive the day after tomorrow and his name is . . . Kaworu Nagisa." Fuyutsuki spoke up from his position behind Gendo.

"Is it wise to activate the third Rei so soon?" Gendo's eyes narrowed before he resumed speaking.

"We have no other choice. To delay her awakening would be a grievous misstep lest we be unprepared for the attack of the seventeenth. Even if that weren't true, Rei still holds the key to Instrumentality and I will not be denied." As Gendo got up to leave, Fuyutsuki glanced out of the corner of his eye at the silver-haired, red-eyed young man named Kaworu.

Shinji Ikari lay curled up on a futon, crying out his despair into a pillow, yet neither the pillow nor the futon was his. It belonged to his friend and copilot, Asuka Langley Soryu. He wept into it, each one of his deep wracking breaths drawing in more of Asuka's scent. He dimly heard the phone ring and Misato's soft footsteps toward the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello, Katsuragi/Ikari residence. Oh, hey Ritsuko, what's up?" Shinji heard the sound of her beer can hitting the kitchen floor and Misato's shout. "She survived! How? Yeah, I'll bring Shinji over immediately!" His head shot up after the word 'survived' entered his ears and he then heard Misato's feet beating a path to Asuka's door, which was quickly thrown open. "Shinji! Rei survived!" His eyes widened and minutes later he found himself in the passenger seat of what was commonly known throughout Tokyo-3 as the 'Blue Bullet of Death.' They arrived at NERV in less than nine minutes, a new personal best for Misato. The pair made their way to the medical ward, with Shinji being helped along on his crutches by Misato. They arrived to find Rei in a hospital bed, solidly bandaged around her ribs, a cast on her arm, and more bandages around her head with a gauze pad over her right eye. Shinji rushed to her side as quickly as his crutches allowed and kissed her deeply on the lips, wrapping his arms tenderly around her waist. He pulled back several minutes later only to receive a stern slap across the face from Rei.

"Ikari," she stated firmly, "I have not given you permission to kiss me, please do not do that again without my consent." Shinji was shocked as he looked into her emotionless red eyes.

"But Rei, you're my girlfriend. You kissed me twice before, and I even sang to you. How can you not remember?" Shinji looked crestfallen while behind him, Misato simply looked shocked. Rei looked downwards at her sheet and began rubbing her forehead furiously against the heel of her palm, trying with all her might to remember. While this was going on, Ritsuko Akagi entered the room and whispered to Misato.

"I need you and Shinji to come back tonight, there are some things you need to see." At Misato's perplexed expression Ritsuko turned to Shinji who asked her a question.

"Um, there are some things that Rei doesn't remember. Is that normal?" At that Ritsuko nodded and replied in a kind voice.

"Rei suffered some mild to moderate head trauma. In those kinds of cases, some amnesia is to be expected. The duration of which varies by patient. She may remember everything tomorrow, or she may remember it twenty years from tomorrow. The brain is a fragile instrument Shinji, and unpredictable as well." Shinji nodded at her answer and squeezed Rei's hand gently before whispering to her.

"I'll be back tomorrow Rei. I'll miss you." He leaned in and gave her a small peck on the cheek. She looked up at him with wondering eyes and managed a small smile and a reply accompanied by a minor blush.

"Thank you, Shinji." Ritsuko smiled at both Shinji and Rei and felt something in her pocket that made her grimace. She waited until the three of them were outside Rei's room before she stopped and took Shinji aside.

"Shinji, we found these inside the wreckage of Asuka's entry plug and I wanted to know if you'd like to keep them." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the wrecked remains of Asuka's neural clips. Shinji looked at them in shock and took them from Ritsuko. He stared at them for several minutes and pressed them to his chest before sinking to his knees and crying. Misato went to Shinji's side and helped him up before he grabbed his crutches and made his way to the door marked autopsy. Ritsuko grabbed him and held him back assisted by Misato. "Trust me Shinji. You don't want to see her the way she is." He began fighting back and screaming,

"I have to see her, I have to say goodbye!" Ritsuko shook her head and yelled back.

"No Shinji! Not like this!" Shinji stopped struggling and spoke so quietly it was barely heard.

"Please, I beg you. Let me say goodbye to her." Shinji went limp in Ritsuko's arms and wept. Ritsuko closed her eyes and mentally begged forgiveness for what she was about to do.

"All right Shinji, you can see her for a few minutes, but no longer." Shinji's face brightened considerably and he nodded quickly.

"But let me warn you," Ritsuko said seriously, "that most of her body is badly burned and some parts of her are nearly unrecognizable." Shinji's smile faded and he nodded to show his understanding. The trio walked into the main autopsy room, where Asuka lay on a stretcher, still in her body bag. Inwardly, Ritsuko was thankful that Rei's body was already in one of the many cold lockers in the room next door. She sighed and unzipped the bag and removed Asuka's body and moved it to the surgical table with the help of one of the orderlies. Shinji's mouth hung open in a silent scream as he laid eyes on what remained of the girl he once had hoped would become his friend. All her hair was burned off and her face had mostly dissolved down to the bones. Yet what seemed most gruesome to Shinji was that her plugsuit seemingly remained on and intact. He tried releasing the pressure on her suit only to find that the pressure button had fused in place due to the heat. Ritsuko saw what he was trying to do and cut him off. "Don't waste your time Shinji. It's not that the suit is still pressurized, it's the fact that the heat was so great that it actually fused the suit to the skin itself." Upon hearing that, Shinji burst into fresh tears and leaned over the body, kissing the forehead lightly before running out as fast as his crutches could manage and vomiting into a trash can. He heard a loud slap from within and saw Misato come out looking fit to kill. He sat there on the floor next to the can and looked up at Misato. She helped him up and out to the car. They drove to their apartment, with Shinji making for his bedroom as soon as they entered. He sat in silence, until Misato knocked on his door.

"Shinji, Ritsuko wants us at NERV. She says she has something important to show us." He turned to her and looked questioningly at Misato, who held up her hands in surrender. "I know as much as you do Shinji." He sighed and nodded as Misato helped him up.

Ritsuko Akagi was waiting at the door to Terminal Dogma on time. As Shinji and Misato arrived, they noticed the presence of Rei Ayanami.

"I was asked to accompany you at the request of Doctor Akagi." Rei stated simply and waited for Ritsuko to open the door. Shinji stood next to Rei and took her hand while she looked at him curiously, yet squeezed his hand gently as it came to rest in hers. Ritsuko turned around and slid her card into the door marked LCL Processing Plant 1. The huge steel doors slid open to reveal the body of Lillith, nailed firmly to a red cross with a mask over her face and two stumps that reached down to where the knee would have been on an ordinary person. Even without the lance, LCL flowed down the cross into the huge man-made LCL lake just below the narrow metal walkway. The company of four passed through the room quickly while Shinji looked up at the mammoth figure in awe. They came to a place that eerily resembled Rei's apartment down to the antiseptic smell. Shinji dimly heard Ritsuko's voice and began listening.

"All of Rei's memories of light and water stem from this place. It's all she's ever known. Well, at least we thought it was until the broadcast yesterday during the battle. You really have no idea how badly you almost fucked things up do you Shinji?" She sighed and led them to another room with a glass tube filled with LCL that led up into a maze of pipes that deeply resembled a human brain. Misato was astonished and turned to Ritsuko.

"What the hell is this?" Ritsuko smiled and walked to the tube, petting it in an almost loving manner.

"This is the mental core of the dummy plug system that nearly killed Toji Suzuhara during the battle with the thirteenth angel. The cores themselves we keep in a separate area." She led them to an elevator that seemed to stretch downwards infinitely. They finally reached the bottom and Dr. Akagi led them through a room littered with bones. "This is the Eva graveyard. A storehouse for failed experiments." She turned to Shinji, who was looking around in shock. "In fact, this is the room where your mother died Shinji. She died during the first Eva activation experiment. I believe it was Unit 01." Shinji looked at her in disbelief as she turned around and kept walking to another room. "Here we are," she said as they stopped in a dark room with one flat wall and another immense, circular one. "I've shown you how the dummy plugs think, now let me show you what they look like." She pressed a button on a remote control in her pocket and the circular wall slid up revealing a tank full of clones of Rei Ayanami. Shinji could have sworn he heard his sanity's structural supports snap as the word Reiquarium echoed in his mind.

"What are they?" Shinji vaguely heard Misato ask and Ritsuko reply.

"Them? They're the cores of the dummy plug system. You see Misato, the Evas cannot operate without a soul, but the only vessel capable of containing a soul is Rei." Ritsuko pulled the remote out of her pocket and pressed another button, only this one stained the LCL a deeper shade of red as the bodies in the tank simply dissolved. A sight made all the more disturbing as the happily smiling heads of the Reis floated slowly to the bottom of the tank. Misato drew her firearm in a flash.

"Stop it! Do you have any idea what you're doing!" Ritsuko snorted at Misato's declaration.

"Of course I do. They're nothing, just spare parts. The Room of Guf is empty. Rei herself isn't even human. She's a genetic hybrid of both a human . . . and an angel." Misato and Shinji turned to Rei in shock while Rei's head hung low, unable to meet anyone's gaze. Misato felt something hot and wet hit her in the face and spun around to see Ritsuko Akagi on the floor, dead from a gunshot wound to the head. Misato trained her gun on the door, only to see the light reflect off the lenses of Commander Ikari's glasses. He stepped through the door with three Section Two agents at his heels. In his right hand was a nine-millimeter semi-automatic with a silencer attached to the barrel. One of the agents held back Shinji while another injected something into Rei that made her fall asleep instantly. Gendo nodded curtly to Misato, offering only a perfunctory greeting.

"Colonel Katsuragi." he said while tossing Misato a new set of lapel pins as an off the record promotion in exchange for silence. She stared at them for several long minutes before closing her eyes and placing them in her pocket. She opened her eyes and found herself sick to her stomach.

"Shinji." Misato said quietly and moving her head to the side to indicate the door. Shinji looked at Misato with something akin to disgust and amazement before rushing at his father who clenched his fist and backhanded Shinji out of the way. Misato rushed to Shinji and helped him up. He wrenched himself free of her grasp and stormed out the door, but not before standing in his father's path and looking him directly in his face . . . and spitting in it. Gendo remained motionless as his son left. He spoke shortly thereafter,

"Fuyutsuki, call Lieutenant Ibuki in immediately." The older man nodded and dialed the number, speaking briefly before hanging up.

"She'll be here in twenty minutes." Gendo nodded and spoke quietly to his right-hand man.

"I need photos of drunk driving accidents involving single, blonde, female pedestrians." Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrow at the request, but otherwise said nothing and moved to garner the requested information. The commander wiped his face and oversaw the removal of the body and evidence.

Thirty minutes later he was back in his office, a nervous Maya Ibuki in front of him.

"Lieutenant Ibuki, it is with great regret that we inform you of the passing of Doctor Ritsuko Akagi." Maya's face went slack as she processed the heart wrenching news. "I'm informed that you looked up to Dr. Akagi greatly and that she considered you her protege. Which is why I have decided to promote you to the rank of captain . . . and to name you as the new Director of Project E." Maya's eyes lit up and she snapped to attention as Gendo finished speaking.

"It's an honor sir. I never dreamed I'd be carrying on Ritsuko's work. Thank you for the opportunity!" She saluted happily, to which Gendo merely nodded and uttered a single word.

"Dismissed." She left and Gendo turned to Fuyutsuki. "Victory is all but assured us. We need only defeat the final two angels to gain our entrance to God's kingdom and assume His throne."

* * *

Author's Note: Another dark chapter in which another character bites the dust. I seem to be cranking out the chapters as I get closer to the end. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but I'm sure my honest reviewers will tell me either way. Speaking of my reviewers, I just gotta tell you again how much I love you guys. You guys make writing fun so keep reading and reviewing.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	9. Chapter 9

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought**

"..." indicates additional thought

"_**..." indicates additional thought**_

"_..." indicates additional thought

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_

Chapter Nine: If a Betrayed Heart Breaks and No One Notices, Does it Still Hurt?

The next day dawned and Shinji Ikari found himself once again in the NERV medical ward. He sat once again on an examination table, being prodded this time by a doctor named Kazuki Shimakaze. The young doctor placed Shinji's x-rays against the light panel on the wall and turned to Shinji with a pleased smile.

"Well Mister Ikari, it seems that your legs have healed and we can get those casts off right now if you like." Shinji looked confused as he tried to remember his last visit to the late Ritsuko Akagi, of whose sudden death sparked much rumor in the hallways as did the almost immediate promotion of Maya Ibuki to the rank of captain and the announcement of her directorship as the head of the E Project.

"Um, Doctor Akagi said that I'd need the casts for several more weeks." Shinji stated, though it also sounded partially like a question as well. Doctor Shimakaze studied Shinji's file briefly before he turned back to the young Ikari with his reply.

"Well, it's actually a side effect of the LCL. In addition to being oxygenated, it's also laden with various proteins and amino acids. They're useful for improving circulation of the blood, heightened reflexes and thought processes, and improving the autoimmune and immune systems as well as accelerating the healing process." He paused to let Shinji absorb the information, waiting until Shinji nodded before speaking again. "Hang on a moment and let me grab my hammer and chisel and we'll get those casts off." Kazuki left the office and Shinji's mind drifted to last night and the murder of Ritsuko Akagi by his own father. His fists clenched as he remembered Misato's grim face as she pocketed the colonel's insignia that Commander Ikari had tossed to her in exchange for silence. At that moment, more than any other, Shinji hated his father, enough even to spit in his face while leaving the room on his crutches. He wondered where Rei was placed, after being drugged and dragged out by Section Two He was gravely shaken by the truth of Rei's origins and wondered what would come of their relationship. He truly loved Rei and wished to be by her side, yet he was also terrified of her. He had figured out the truth last night that she wasn't suffering from amnesia, but instead was an entirely different Rei Ayanami.

He was brought back to reality by his father's voice, echoing from outside in the hallway. Gendo passed the room Shinji was sitting in, only to give his son a cold glance before passing by. Shinji remained unmoving, save to return the same look he was given. Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrows, noticing that the expressions on the faces of both Ikaris were identical in every respect. Gendo and Fuyutsuki moved on as Doctor Shimakaze returned with the hammer and chisel and carrying two large black bands on his forearm. "All right Mister Ikari, get those legs of yours on the table." Shinji did as he was told and Kazuki began chipping away slowly. Twenty minutes later Shinji was free of his casts and Kazuki strapped the black bands he carried into the room onto Shinji's lower legs. "Now Shinji, these are leg weights. You have to wear them while you walk. They're measured to the weight of your casts. If you walked around without these, your legs would go flying every which way because they've become accustomed to the casts. The sudden lack of weight would disorient them. Come back every two weeks and we'll reduce the weight until your legs have fully recuperated. Any questions?" Shinji shook his head no and Kazuki nodded, satisfied that he had done his job. "Good, see you in two weeks." Shinji smiled and hopped off the table and began walking, albeit with a slight wobble, out of the medical wing.

Misato Katsuragi sat inside her office, trying in vain to focus on her paperwork. The ride home from NERV last night had been uneasy to say the least and once they got home things deteriorated drastically.

"I'm going to bed." Shinji had snapped angrily before storming off into his room. Misato grabbed his wrist and tried to make Shinji face her. "I don't wanna talk to you! You make me sick! Let me go!" With that, Misato let go of Shinji, who made for his room and quickly as possible before slamming the door. She staggered to the kitchen table, pulling an entire case of Yebisu from the fridge. She popped open a can and downed it quietly, her mind replaying the events that had just occurred and found herself weeping. She had just seen one of her oldest friends murdered and accepted an implicit contract to cover it up and in doing so, had just lost the trust of the one person she loved most, save only for the late Ryoji Kaji. She finished half the case before lumbering drunkenly to bed.

Elsewhere in Tokyo-3, Rei Ayanami stirred from her sleep and found herself in her apartment. Only this time, she saw something she didn't expect. Sitting in a chair not two feet from the bed was a little girl of about eight years of age. Strangely, Rei saw that the girl looked almost identical to her. She looked around the room to find what looked like her exact twin sitting on the floor of the apartment. After her twin, there was what seemed like a more mature version of herself only with silver hair and red eyes leaning against the table that held a beaker of water. Finally, Yui Ikari was sitting on top of her kitchen counter. As Rei took in the multitude of people in her dwelling, she spoke.

"_Doctor Ikari I recognize, but the rest of you are unfamiliar to me. Who are you and why are you in my home?"_

"**We are you." **The eight-year-old Rei spoke, followed by both Yui Ikari and the one with the silver hair.

"The various parts of you."The identical Rei spoke next in tandem with the eight-year-old.

"**And we are the you that have come before." **The Rei in bed pondered the answers she had received before speaking again.

"_Aside from Doctor Ikari, do you have names? It would be confusing if I had to call you all Rei." _The occupants smiled.

"**You may call me Rei I."** The eight-year-old said.

"**I am Rei II." **Rei's exact double followed quietly.

"**_I am the Infinite Mother, Lillith." _**The silver haired one spoke gently, smiling at Rei reassuringly. Yui slid off the counter top and came to sit on Rei's bed.

"_I am Yui Ikari, mother of Shinji Ikari and the soul of Unit 01." _Rei tilted her head to look at the mother of the son who had called her his girlfriend before asking a question.

"_Upon seeing me in the hospital, Shinji kissed me and called me his girlfriend and mentioned the night before last on the balcony of Major Katsuragi's apartment. Why can I not remember? Shinji does not lie, so I know that what he says is the truth but I still cannot remember, no matter how hard I try." _Yui's face grew grave and looked to Rei II, who spoke instead.

"**It is the truth. I went to Shinji's apartment and kissed him, not you. You are the third Rei Ayanami. The one he fell in love with was the second Rei, me." **Rei lowered her head and began to cry with Yui's arms wrapped around her.

"_Do you think that Shinji is afraid of me?" _Rei asked, fearful of the honest truth she knew she was going to receive.

"_It's quite possible, yes, and that is why you must show Shinji that you do remember him." _Rei looked up into Yui's eyes as she finished speaking.

"_But how?" Rei asked, "I cannot remember things that never happened to me." _At that, Reis I and II smiled gently before Rei I spoke up.

"**Yes, sister, you can. The memories are there, but blocked." **Rei looked up at them in confusion before asking her question.

"_Can memories be blocked artificially?"_ The two Reis along with Yui nodded. This time it was Yui who spoke.

"_With the right equipment and a fair amount of psychological knowledge, yes, it's quite simple to do."_

"_But who?"_ The Reis looked at each other uneasily and Yui closed her eyes before the three of them answered in unison.

"_Commander Ikari and Ritsuko Akagi."_ Rei shook her head violently and clapped her hands over her ears.

"_Commander Ikari is a good man! He takes care of me!" _Yui shook her head sadly and pulled Rei's hands off her ears.

"_No Rei, he isn't. I regret the day I married him and always will. He doesn't take care of you, he uses you. You're his tool, the same as everyone else in NERV." Yui started tearing up at the eyes and continued speaking. "You, Shinji, Asuka, Misato, Ritsuko, and her mother Naoko, even me. Nothing more than cogs in his machine." _Rei began crying and her sisters looked on in sadness before she spoke.

"_I want my memories back."_ Rei wept, holding onto Yui as if she were a life preserver. As Rei lowered her head onto Yui's chest, Yui noticed a bandage on and pulled it off sharply, causing Rei to hiss in slight pain. Under the bandage was a small puncture wound, resembling an insect bite. Yui paused for a second until the answer revealed itself.

"_An injection point. They used a chemical inhibitor to block off her memories." _Lillith frowned and came to sit where Yui was. Lillith stared into Rei's eyes for a minute before plunging her hand into Rei's abdomen and sending a burst of energy into Rei's S2 engine that set her blood on fire and reached all the way into her brain before she finally blacked out from the pain. Lillith withdrew her hand and closed her eyes, sensing something in the air and smiling.

"_**Tabris has arrived."**_

Rei shot up and out of bed at lightning speed. She was breathing heavily and paused to ask herself if what had just happened to her was what was known as a nightmare. She took a deep breath and decided that that's exactly what had happened. She might have believed it too if she had not gone to take a shower and noticed the trickle of blood making its way down her stomach and the ringing headache that produced the soft singing voice of Shinji Ikari from the deeper recesses of her mind. As Shinji's voice grew louder, she couldn't help but sing along as the tears streamed down her face.

"_So darling, darling, stand by me . . . "_

Shinji Ikari left NERV shortly after his casts were removed. On his way out, he almost literally ran into an enthusiastic Maya Ibuki who began gushing about her new promotion and the unfortunate fact that it came so closely on the heels of the death of her beloved sempai, Ritsuko Akagi. As Maya laid out the sad details of Ritsuko's passing, Shinji felt the urge to vomit again as the young Captain Ibuki told Shinji about the tragic car accident that claimed Doctor Akagi's life. As soon as that conversation had ended, most thankfully in Shinji's opinion, he had made for the nearest exit so fast that several passing technicians had made jokes about where the fire was. He ran until he was out of breath and was sure his lungs were seconds from exploding. He came to a lake caused by the recent detonations of both Units 00 and 02. He sat upon the edge and mused about the events last night, especially those regarding Rei.

He remembered the fear in his heart as he heard Ritsuko Akagi call Rei an angel, as if he expected her to expand her own A.T. Field suddenly and kill them all. Instead Rei's face fell and she began crying. He knew he should have comforted her, but his legs had turned to concrete instead. Her memories of him were lost, but he kept the hope however slim that they would return. However he tried to rationalize it, he couldn't deny that Rei's slap hurt more than he would ever let on. He was broken out of his reverie by the sound of someone humming. He looked for the source of the sound only to find a young man perched on a statue, wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks.

"This song is good." The newcomer spoke. "This song, more than any other represents the highest achievement of the Lillim culture." Shinji blinked and spoke hesitantly.

"That's the Ode to Joy, isn't it?" The man nodded and turned to Shinji.

"You're the Third Child, aren't you?" Shinji nodded silently and the man smiled and hopped off the statue.

"I am the Fifth Child." Shinji blinked hard, he hadn't even known there was a Fifth.

"You're the Fifth Child?" He smiled again and nodded before speaking again.

"It is an honor to meet you, Shinji Ikari. My name is Kaworu Nagisa."

* * *

Author's Note: Finally Kaworu's entered the story and we're setting up for the home stretch. I can only hope that this fic, when all is said and done, has reached or surpassed your expectations. Any and all praise should really be sent to my reviewers. I own them more than they know. Keep reading and reviewing, and I love you all.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	10. Chapter 10

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Ten: Calm Catastrophe Traced Along Your Mental Scars

Maya Ibuki was usually not one to cry, yet here she wept. In her car, in her apartment, even in her office. This wretched state of grief born from the passing of her friend, superior officer, and confidant. Grief sparked from the death of Ritsuko Akagi. When she had first heard the news, in Commander Ikari's office, it had felt to her like her world had somehow collapsed upon itself and it was only by sheer force of will that she had kept from bursting into tears as Gendo offered her Ritsuko's former position. Instead she had put on a falsely polite and excited face that her two senior commanders had no doubt seen through instantly. She had taken the captain's bars for her uniform and rushed out of the office as quickly as possible. She then locked herself in her car and screamed in mourning with tears running down her face. She sat in her car, weeping bitterly for nearly forty-five minutes before composing herself enough to drive home, where she collapsed onto her couch in her sparse living room and cried herself to sleep. She awoke the next morning, feeling absolutely no better than last night. She took a shower and cried some more before getting dressed for work, snapping her new captain's insignia on her lapels and driving to Ritsuko's apartment. She knew where the spare key was hidden and went inside for the last time to feed the late doctor's cats. She barely held back her tears as she scratched one behind the head and left. She arrived at NERV quickly, Ritsuko's house being closest to the main entrance, save for the commander, who had a mostly Spartan but roomy, apartment inside the GeoFront itself. She made her way to her office, the placard above the door already changed to say, "Capt. Maya Ibuki, Senior Director of Project E." She sat at her desk, no larger than before, the in box of projects, findings, and statistics no smaller than before. If anything, it had in fact grown taller. She began working and as soon as it had come time for lunch, she headed to the cafeteria. Along the way she nearly collided with Shinji Ikari, running as if the demons of hell were after him. He stopped to apologize and spent a few minutes with Maya, who told him of the accident and her promotion in the same false voice she used in the commander's office. She noticed Shinji grit his teeth and suppress a snarl as she mentioned the accident. Soon after, they split up and Maya went to grab lunch. She took it to the office and started crying while eating. After she was done, she pulled out a small mirror and reapplied her makeup to conceal the bags under her eyes that her constant crying had produced. As she fixed her mascara, she began thinking.

"_I can't cry right now. I can't let others see that I'm not in control. Sempai would be ashamed of me. I don't care what I have to do, but I won't cry. I know you weren't killed in a car crash. Shinji's face told me as much. I need him to tell me the truth. Please, God if you really are up there, and this place and its motto really aren't just a lie. Tell me what to do . . . I beg you . . . please." _With another small scream and the sound of falling cosmetics, Maya Ibuki began weeping once again.

In another area of the city, Rei Ayanami got dressed after she had finished her shower. She had turned to leave when something caught her eye on her dresser. She walked over and picked up the object, recognizing them instantly as the heat-warped glasses of Gendo Ikari. She held them in her hand for several minutes before drawing her face into a sharp scowl and twisting the glasses in her hand until the lenses shattered and the frames themselves broke in two. She dropped them on the floor and reached behind the oven. Using her nimble fingers, she loosened a restraining bolt and pulled the gas line free of the oven, letting the vapors escape into the room. She found the thermostat and wrenched the cover off, setting it to the highest temperature. She knew the thermostat itself worked fine, only that the heater in the basement was defective. Her new memories informed her that the line itself was still live. Rei II had found that out when attempting to be her own electrician, one bitterly cold night a year and a half ago. She frowned upon remembering that the frizz didn't leave her hair for a week. She left the apartment, for once locking the door behind her as the room filled with gas and the contacts on the thermostat inched slowly together. She jogged down the stairs hurriedly and made her way to the NERV entrance. The Section Two officers in charge of Rei's protection lost all traces of her at that point.

In yet another part of the city, Shinji Ikari and Kaworu Nagisa headed to Misato's apartment. The two boys arrived fifteen minutes later, only to see a worried Misato at the kitchen table, who had just finished poring over a file folder. She ran to hug Shinji, who shrugged her off and gave her a hateful glare in response. Kaworu seemed to sense the tense atmosphere and eyed the pair solemnly.

"Shinji," Misato said in a downcast voice. "I was worried about you." She finally noticed the other boy in the room. "Um, who's this Shinji." Kaworu stepped forward and bowed respectfully.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Fifth Child Kaworu Nagisa." Aside from Kaworu's red eyes and silver hair, his personality, though polite, was unnerving. Misato spoke politely, but remained guarded.

"Pleased to meet you Kaworu. I'm Colonel Misato Katsuragi, Chief Tactician and Director of Field Operations." Kaworu noted Shinji's spiteful glare at the mention of 'Colonel Misato Katsuragi' and this wasn't lost on Misato either. Regardless, she kept her attention on Kaworu. "I take it you have somewhere in to stay." Kaworu shook his head,

"My living arrangements were never finalized I'm afraid." Misato gave a deep sigh and ran her fingers through her hair, considering briefly before speaking again.

"I suppose you can bunk in with us. Go ahead and stay in Shinji's room." Kaworu nodded and headed toward the room, but stopped briefly when he saw a seemingly vacant room across from Shinji's. He stuck his head out of the hallway and called out.

"I see a vacant room off to the side." Shinji's voice came back so quickly and so loudly it was almost a shout.

"Leave that room alone! It's not for use!" Kaworu blinked and took another look into the room, seeing what looked like a piece of burnt red plastic sitting on a desk before shutting the door. As Shinji and Misato sat alone in the living room, Misato turned to Shinji and spoke softly.

"Shinji, I know what you must think of me. For taking this promotion the way I did, along with everything else that's happened lately." Shinji turned his head slightly toward her before speaking.

"You know how I feel? You know how it felt to see Rei drugged and carried off to God knows where? To see you take that promotion and literally see you step over the body of your dead best friend. To find out that the woman you love is not even entirely human. You know how that felt? I really doubt that you do." Misato's head fell lower and lower with each of Shinji's verbal blows. She knew that the things he said were undeniable, but she wasn't gonna give up without having said her piece, and even after she said it, if he never trusted her again, he at least would know the truth about how she felt and the reasons behind her doing what she did.

"Okay," she said, "I can accept that. But how do you think I felt, with Ritsuko's blood all over my face. Like you said, stepping over her body as I walked out the door with those new colonels' pins in my pocket. Shinji, what do you think would have happened if I hadn't gone along with the promotion?" Shinji's head dropped this time as Misato made her point. "Chances are we would have ended up like Asuka, stuck inside a prison cell, or worse, dragged off to some ungodly place like Rei was. I can't let that happen, not to you Shinji." She grabbed him close and began crying on his chest. "Please forgive me Shinji. I never wanted to hurt you, but God we'd be dead if I didn't." Shinji wrapped his arms around her, hesitantly at first, but growing more relaxed as tears of his own poured down as the minutes passed. After ten minutes, Misato stopped crying and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Go to bed Shinji. You have a sync test tomorrow." Misato said with a small smile. He got off the couch, but before he left, Misato spoke again. "Shinji, could you bring me a beer before you go?" Shinji chuckled lightly and made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. On the way back, Shinji noticed that the file held Rei's photo. A closer inspection revealed it to be Rei's original file, written by Ritsuko Akagi. He flipped through it quickly, hoping to find a clue as to Rei's whereabouts. Instead he found something far more shocking, a computer printout defining Rei's actual genetic makeup.

Subject: R. Ayanami

Genetic Profile: Human/Angel Hybrid with a balance of 94 percent Angelic biology and 6 percent Human biology. The human genetic profile being used primarily for the purposes of appearance, while the angelic profile gives rise to an A.T. Field and an S2 engine. However, the introduction of the angelic chromosomes during the embryonic stage of what would otherwise be considered a typical human pregnancy causes the fetus to lose any and all of its reproductive abilities in favor of the placement of the Super Solenoid engine.

These embryos were created using harvested eggs from a human donor, while the angelic materials were harvested from on-site specimens. The angelic modifications also have the effect of accelerating growth. In the unique artificial wombs we have built, the pregnancies that would have taken nine months, now take only six. The donors for the Ayanami Project are listed below.

Angelic materials harvested from Subj. Lillith

Eggs harvested from Subj. Y. Ikari

Report Ends

Shinji dropped Misato's beer in shock and bolted for the front door. Misato rounded the corner and cursed herself for her stupidity in leaving that file in the open. She grabbed her keys and also left, leaving Kaworu alone in the apartment. Shinji made for the street as soon as fast as possible, running toward Rei's apartment. Misato started her car and peeled out hard, driving as fast as she could in the same direction that Shinji had gone. She caught up to him in less than five minutes and pulled up to the curb. She tried grabbing Shinji's arm, but he only ripped it out of her grasp.

"How long have you known?" he screamed at her, feeling violently ill. She looked at him with regret.

"I've had suspicions, but I only found out today, I promise." He looked at her in disgust and pain.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? He asked weakly, and sat down on the ground. Misato sighed and sat next to him.

"Because I had nothing concrete to prove it to you with. If you had asked and I had said yes before now, would you have believed me?" Shinji shook his head.

"No, you're right. Before now, I would have called you a liar and run away again." Misato hugged Shinji before helping him into the car.

"If you want, we can go see Rei together." Misato suggested, to which Shinji wordlessly nodded. The two of them sped off toward Rei's apartment, just in time to see it erupt in a huge ball of flames when they pulled up to the building.

* * *

Author's Notes: I know, I know! The ink's not even dry on Chapter Nine and I've already got Chapter Ten for you! Sorry, but when my muses whisper in my ear it's usually a good idea to listen to what they have to say and give it right back to you guys. Speaking of which, my reviewers, as always are the best in the business. I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. 

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	11. Chapter 11

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Eleven: A Small Piece of a Greater Whole

The area in front of Rei Ayanami's apartment building swarmed with fire crews, policemen, a small group of Section Two agents, and the nominal crowd of spectators that can usually be found at fires or other places that usually promise the spectacle of gore. The policemen were as always, holding back the crowd while the firefighters fought bravely to extinguish the inferno that was once Rei's apartment. Shinji sat slumped against the trunk of a tree with Misato by his side. Shinji seemed to observe his surroundings with a sort of numb detachment, looking mostly straight ahead, though sometimes looking up at the flames leaping from Apartment 402. He wasn't crying, he was just looking, as if some mental switch had just burned out in his mind. It was probably shock, Misato's mind determined as she watched Shinji closely. The shock of realizing over the past few hours, that the woman he loved wasn't only a human/angel hybrid, but that the human components had been harvested from his own mother. He had been so close to the answers and had run to the only person he was sure wouldn't lie to him, only to watch as her apartment, and possibly her as well, explode in a massive fireball. Misato got up as she saw a Section Two officer approach her and Shinji.

"Report." was all Misato said and the two agents stood at attention accordingly. The man on the left, an agent named Kano, spoke first.

"At approximately twenty-three hundred hours and seventeen minutes, we observed Pilot Ayanami exit the residence and head toward the entrance of NERV headquarters. We followed the subject to that location, only to find that she had somehow...disappeared." Agent Kano expected Misato to raise hell but instead received it from Shinji.

"What the hell do you mean disappeared! People don't vanish into the thin fucking air!" Misato stepped back from Shinji in both shock and fear. If Shinji noticed, he gave no sign and instead continued his tirade. "You people lost track of me for four whole days! Find her, dammit!" Agent Kano blinked but kept his composure before speaking again,

"Pilot Ikari, we understand your distress and we will do everything in our power to find her. But understand you do not hold authority over us." Kano's and Shinji's eyes locked icily for several minutes before Misato broke back into the conversation.

"He doesn't, I do! Find Rei or find your ass on the street! That's an order!" Giving Shinji another hard look, the two agents moved away from Misato and the young Ikari. As soon as they had gone, Misato put her arms around Shinji and gave him a hug. The pair of them began walking to the car as Misato spoke somberly but still softly. "Hey Shinji, have I told you that your voice is changing?" Shinji lowered his head and smiled faintly before speaking.

"I hadn't noticed, really." Misato chuckled quietly before speaking again.

"It is, trust me. I know you don't wanna hear this, but right now, you sounded a lot like your father." At that, Shinji closed his eyes and clenched his fist before speaking through gritted teeth.

"I swear to God Misato, if I ever become anything like him I want you to kill me. Right then, just pull the trigger and do the world a favor." Misato looked at Shinji in sadness as he started walking to the car. She got in the car with him and drove back to their apartment. The two of them walked in to the living room only to see Kaworu on the couch, idly flipping channels. Misato gave him a brief look before speaking.

"Kaworu, I thought you were going to bed." He sighed and stood up, looking back at Misato.

"I was about to, only I heard someone running out followed by someone else without a word. Needless to say, my curiosity was piqued. But since you've arrived, I'll figure all's well and go back to bed." Kaworu smiled in his usual serene manner and walked down the hallway, followed closely by Shinji. The two boys changed into their bed clothes and lay down on their futons, placed side by side. As they lay down, Kaworu turned to Shinji and asked him a question. "Shinji, what do you plan to do after this war ends?" Shinji blinked and thought hard, because honestly, it had never occurred to him to think about it.

"Um, I'm not sure. I never thought about it really. I always y'know, expected to die." Kaworu turned to him in confusion.

"But why would you expect to die? Don't you want to live?" Shinji sighed and thought for a few more seconds.

"Back when I first came, I didn't really care whether I lived or died. It was all the same to me. I mean, my father, the commander of NERV, called me here only to pilot the Eva. He didn't really want me at all. I'm just a tool to him, not much else. He barely even regards me as his son." Kaworu turned his eyes toward the cracked plaster ceiling, thinking before coming up with another question.

"Then why do you pilot the Eva, if all it does is cause you pain?" Shinji thought long and hard before answering.

"Originally, I piloted for my father's acceptance and praise. But now, it's because there are people I love here, people I want to protect. But even though I try, I still fail. People still die, and I can't do anything about it." Shinji whispered bitterly, trying to hold back tears. "There was even one person, who died for me, without even knowing me. Asuka shot him, four times. He died for me, on the couch in the living room, in the same spot you were sitting. He gave his life for me, and he begged me to live where he couldn't. And here I am, without a single fucking clue as to what to do next." Now Shinji didn't even bother holding back the tears as they flowed freely from his eyes. "I forgave Asuka, but some part of me, still wishes I hadn't, wishes I had hated her until my dying breath . . . wishes I had died instead." Kaworu sighed in contemplation and asked Shinji another question.

"Why don't you run away?"

"I did once, but I was found and brought back four days later. And now, with Asuka dead, and Rei with no Eva unit, I'm all they have. Running away isn't going to do any good anymore, I have to stay and face what comes. I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to turn the other way and ignore the parts of reality I don't like. I'm aware that it's going to make my life more painful, but if the people I love are with me, then that should make it okay, right?" Kaworu chuckled and spoke.

"You should never ask me or anyone else to validate your life for you. Only you can do that. Shinji, do you know why people become friends? Why we seek other people to pass the days with?" Shinji thought hard, but was cut off by the other boy before he could respond. "It's pain, Shinji. We seek others to help us relieve our pains, to share them and carry our burdens along with theirs. Life is very painful Shinji and not everyone can be saved. We seek out friends not only to relieve our own pain, but to relieve theirs as well. We wish to shoulder each other's burdens and thus make the pain of living more bearable. Yet, very few people realize this and cause an inequity of pain by shutting themselves off and forcing those around them to shoulder a much heavier burden than others. Those forced to carry that extra weight, start to consider themselves accursed and begin to reject others, believing that contact with others causes nothing but pain and shut themselves off as well, forcing even more undue pain on the surrounding hearts of their fellows. This cycle grows and repeats endlessly until this unjust imbalance of pain can do nothing but find a home in the heart of every man, woman, and child on earth. That sort of sadness is a disease that all are infected with. Yet, there is hope, in people like the man who died in your stead. He gave you his hope, and yet here you lay whilst it withers. He would not wish to see his sacrifice made in vain. Think, Shinji! How would you give his gift meaning?" Shinji lay there for a long time in thought before answering.

"By facing the truth and not giving into my fears. By bringing down my father's plans and finding Rei. But most important, I want this war to end. I'm tired of the blood and suffering. I want to find somewhere I can go, with Rei, that we can call ours." As soon as Shinji said it, he knew it was true. He loved Rei. Despite the profile that said she was 6 percent his mother he couldn't erase the feelings from his gut that told him how he felt.

"By Rei, you mean Rei Ayanami correct?" Kaworu's voice broke through Shinji's reverie.

"Uh, yeah." Came Shinji's somewhat less than eloquent reply. Kaworu chuckled softly before asking a question.

"What's Ayanami like?" Shinji paused briefly, smiling as he recalled his various moments with Rei.

"She's got blue hair, red eyes, and you can always tell when she's annoyed because her eyebrows furrow a bit. She's determined and strong, she's got a beautiful smile that she hardly ever uses. She blushes when she's embarrassed." Here Shinji's voice started to choke up with tears. "She's even beautiful when she cries and to me she's a goddess in the moonlight, even when she cries and the moonlight hits her tears. I swear to God, it looks like she's crying pure silver." Shinji finally lost composure and broke down into sobs as Kaworu watched.

"Shinji," Kaworu said, "I think that you are quite possibly one of the most beautiful people on Earth and just by speaking to you, I can tell that I love you more than any other." Shinji's crying tapered off as he looked at Kaworu in shock.

"Um, thanks Kaworu, but I have to tell you that while I appreciate the sentiment. I, uh, don't, um, well, that is to say that, I don't think of you like that, sorry." Kaworu looked at Shinji's red face for several minutes before laughing.

"Oh, no, Shinji you misunderstood. I don't like you that way either. I was just saying that as far as people go, I think you have a heart, kinder, and more loving than any I've seen. That is what I love about you, and that is what I meant." Shinji looked down before muttering a response.

"Oh, well, thanks Kaworu. And I'm sorry."

"About what?" Shinji fidgeted slightly before answering.

"About the whole gay thing." Kaworu laughed again and waved him off.

"It's nothing Shinji, no need to worry. For some reason, I get that response fairly often." With that, Shinji and Kaworu drifted off to sleep as Rei Ayanami sat inside the tank room within Terminal Dogma, her eyes burning holes into the two-inch thick Plexiglass walls of the tank that held the decomposing bodies of her fellow clones. She made a decision and walked up to the tank and placed her hands on it. She used her A.T. Field to disable the sensors in the room, before amplifying it to burst the tank, spilling gallons of LCL and body parts all over the room. She left that room and moved into the room that held the neural core of the dummy plug system and with a wave of her hand, shattered it. She then moved to the room where Lillith was crucified and levitated herself up to a higher level of the chamber, directly above the stricken behemoth.

"**_Awaiting the arrival of Tabris, are you?" _**Lillith's voice rang through Rei's head before she returned a thought of her own.

"_Tabris is no longer a concern for me. I have my own scenario."

* * *

_

Author's Note: Another cliffhanger ending, though not exactly a long chapter I'm sorry to say. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoy making them. Once more, read and review. Without you guys, I'm just a moron on a keyboard with too much time on my hands.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	12. Chapter 12

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Twelve: No Longer Knocking on Heaven's Door

Maya Ibuki was fine, really, just ask the two custodial officers she had passed while she ran down the hallway, aghast at the blood staining the front of her standard-issue brown NERV jacket as she ducked into the women's restroom at the end of the hallway where she now stood in front of the mirror. She looked up to see her pale reflection staring back at her, haunted beyond words at what she had just seen and heard. She looked down at the sink, coated with a layer of her own vomit and at her jacket, stained with her blood. So much blood, in fact, that it might have been thought that her nose had been broken by a sledgehammer. She took another glance in the mirror and broke down crying as she slumped to the floor. She closed her eyes and thought back to what seemed like hours ago, and yet was not more than fifteen minutes prior.

* * *

Maya Ibuki sat at her desk, reading reports that documented an unusual amount of disparate feedback from the MAGI units, almost as if they were having some sort of disagreement. She raised her head from the papers and rubbed her eyes to clear them of the strain. Upon opening them, Rei Ayanami stood before her desk and Maya let out a small shriek at the shock.

"Rei! You scared the crap out of me!" Rei appeared to smile minutely before walking around the side of Maya's desk. "Where the hell have you been? Shinji's been worried sick about you. Commander Ikari's had Section Two combing what's left of the city day and night for you."

"I have been here the entire time, using my A.T. Field to shield myself from the cameras and sensors." Rei replied before continuing, "But my whereabouts are unimportant compared to what I must tell you." Maya blinked, caught off guard by the tone of immediacy in Rei's voice.

"Um, sure." Was Maya's reply as she waved Rei into a chair. Rei shook her head and instead stood directly in front of Maya's desk. Rei looked the young captain directly and deeply in the eyes before she spoke again.

"What have they told you regarding the death of Ritsuko Akagi?" asked Rei simply. Maya seemed nonplused by the question for several minutes before replying.

"Well, Commanders Ikari and Fuyutsuki told me she was killed in a car crash, why do you ask?" Rei gave her a solemn, sad look before she gave her reply.

"Everything you have been told about Dr. Akagi's death is a lie." Maya sat in her chair, shocked to her core by Rei's revelation before her skepticism got the better of her.

"How do I know that this isn't a lie? How do I know you're telling the truth?" Rei closed her eyes and took a deep breath before answering.

"Because the truth is locked in my memories. I was there the night she was killed . . . by Commander Ikari." Now Maya was beyond annoyed and she snapped at Rei challengingly.

"How the hell am I supposed to trust your memories! Show me something real! Video, audio, any piece of physical evidence!" Rei turned to Maya with something akin to sympathy in her eyes before she responded.

"Do you not think that Commander Ikari would have destroyed all physical proof by now?" Maya slumped in her chair before speaking,

"Well, unless you can allow me to see inside your head, this conversation is over and I have too much to do."

"Very well," Rei said, "that is what I will do." Before Maya could ask a question, she felt herself pinned to her chair by Rei's A.T. Field. Rei let out a deep breath and relaxed her field slightly before placing one of her hands inside Maya's skull and penetrating her brain the same way Lillith had unlocked her own memories by penetrating her core. Maya screamed as she felt Rei's fingers turn white-hot inside her mind. As Maya screamed, Rei silently thanked the foresight she had in soundproofing the room with her A.T. Field.

Inside her mind, Maya saw herself as Rei during the tour of Terminal Dogma, listening to Ritsuko expound on Lillith, the Eva graveyard, and the Dummy Plug system. They finally reached the Reiquarium and watched in her own abject horror as Ritsuko simply pushed a button that slaughtered Rei's clones. As Ritsuko started crying, she watched as the sound was cut off as a spurt of blood hit Misato's face and Commander Ikari walked into the room with the proverbial smoking gun in his hand. She watched as a Section Two walk toward her and found only blackness before she suddenly snapped awake as herself in her office as Rei stood above her while Maya Ibuki lay dazed on the floor. Rei bent over and helped the stunned young officer into her chair as Maya began weeping.

"Now do you understand?" Rei asked, receiving little more than a barely coherent nod from Maya. "I find it most regrettable that I had to approach you that way, but it was the only way you could find out the truth." Maya nodded again, more strongly. "I must also ask you a favor and I'm afraid it is most gruesome. Will you be willing to help me? To avenge Ritsuko, Kaji, and the billions laid waste during Second Impact?" Maya looked into Rei's eyes and slowly nodded as Rei laid out her plan for Maya to fulfill as soon as the seventeenth angel was destroyed.

* * *

A meager distance away, in the apartment of Misato Katsuragi, the three occupants rose for the day. Misato first, amid much teasing from Shinji about this being the first time since the day of the Jet Alone incident that she'd actually been out of bed and off her ass without the assistance of a beer . . . or twelve. Soon after, Kaworu and Shinji were dressed and ready to go.

"Um, Kaworu," Shinji spoke nervously, "do you want the back or passenger seat?" Kaworu blinked at the strange question.

"Is there a difference?" Kaworu asked, surprised.

"Not really." Shinji replied, trying to hide the nervousness from his face. _"No difference at all, depending on how much you value your life."_ Kaworu just shrugged, having heard Shinji's mental aside.

"I suppose I'll take the passenger side then." Kaworu answered, smiling. _"Gotcha!"_ Kaworu mentally cheered.

"Oh, okay then." Shinji replied as normally as possible, attempting to hide his smirk. _"Yes!"_ The inner Shinji pumped his fist as they all got in the car and Misato piloted the "Vomit Comet" to NERV with Kaworu holding on for dear life as Shinji just put his hands out to the side, braking his slides as Misato did another one of her legendary hard turns.

"Major Katsuragi, forgive me for asking, but where did you learn how to drive?" asked Kaworu from his seat, frantically holding on to the armrest.

"The Elwood J. Blues School of Driving!" Misato announced proudly, flashing Kaworu and Shinji one of her most winning smiles and a V-sign with her fingers, leaving one hand on the wheel.

"The wha-?" was all Kaworu could get out before Misato slammed her brakes hard and spun into her parking spot in the NERV garage, slamming Kaworu's face into the window. Shinji tried hard not to laugh as Kaworu got out of the car, holding his spinning head. They left the parking garage and got into the elevator leading into NERV.

"Hey Kaworu, you have your papers right?" Misato asked as the silver haired boy held up a manila folder with the symbol of the Marduk Institute on the front. They got out of the elevator and into another one that led to Level Nine, the personnel center for the facility. Level Nine consisted of the various administrative components of NERV. Human Resources, payroll, etc. The processing center was also on this level. New employees made their first stop here for photographing, fingerprinting, and ID card manufacturing. Kaworu headed to the front desk where he handed the lady his folder, the lady took it, stamped it and sent him to a room at the far end of the hall, followed closely by Misato and Shinji. The pair of them watched as Kaworu stood against a sky-blue background first facing front, then to either side as he was photographed. His folder was stamped again and he was sent to a different room, where he was fingerprinted and his ID card was made for him. He placed it in his wallet and walked out with Shinji and Misato. As they walked the halls, Shinji noticed the odd looks people were giving Kaworu, yet Kaworu remained unconcerned.

"Um, Kaworu," Shinji started, "why do people stare at you like that?" Kaworu shrugged before answering.

"Because strange looking things, especially people, tend to attract attention. Very little of it good. I expect your girlfriend Rei, gets quite a few looks as well." Shinji thought about that and paused before answering.

"Yeah, she does, always, but I've never really cared. She's been there for me, and I love her, no matter what she looks like." Kaworu chuckled and smiled at Shinji.

"Then she's lucky to have you, Shinji." Kaworu replied softly. Misato spoke up next,

"Hey Kaworu, wanna check out the Eva cages? I hear they've been drained for cleaning, means you can see Eva Unit 01 from top to bottom." Kaworu looked up with interest,

"Really?" Kaworu asked, "Well, that does sound interesting. Sure, let's go." With that, the three of them set out for the cages, arriving there in about fifteen minutes. From the vantage point of the catwalk that lay at chest level of Unit 01, Shinji and Kaworu stood looking at the behemoth creation, or as Ritsuko Akagi had said, 'the God which was made by Man in Man's own image.

"It is exceptional, Shinji." Kaworu said, staring at the chest armor and reaching out to touch it, feeling the warmth of its angelic core pulsing underneath the armor. Shinji didn't reply, instead he simply stared ahead into the glowing eyes of the beast that stood before him.

"_Are you my mother? Truly? Or are you just a beast with nothing but the copy of my mother's soul? I accept that part of her does reside in you. I've felt it, with the twelfth and the fourteenth and even back to the third. Please tell me the truth, I've been lied to more times than I can take and I'm sick of it!" _Shinji turned around to talk to Kaworu, only to find that he had disappeared and the angel alarms had begun to blare horribly. Shinji ran back to the changing rooms and instead of dressing in his plugsuit, grabbed his neural clips out of his locker and secured them to his head. He made his way back to the cages as fast as possible and jumped into the entry plug, ignoring the surprised looks on the technicians faces as he got in the entry plug with his regular clothes on. The walls of the entry plug shifted as the activation sequence proceeded. As soon as his Eva was fully activated Shinji plugged into the com network, only to find Misato on the bridge already.

"Where's the target Misato?" Misato looked uneasily at Shinji before she answered.

"The target has already entered Central Dogma and is headed downwards toward Terminal Dogma." Shinji's shock echoed through his reply.

"How the hell did it get into Central Dogma without us knowing?" If anything, Misato felt worse at that question, but nevertheless, had to answer it.

"Shinji, Kaworu Nagisa is the seventeenth angel." Shinji's face paled and even through the orange color of the LCL, Misato could see it.

"That can't be true, please tell me it's a joke, I don't care how sick it is. Just don't ask me to hurt another one of my friends!" Misato's face fell before she recovered her composure.

"I'm sorry Shinji, but it's not a joke. Now do your job! Defeat our enemy! This is your responsi-."

"-bility. I know that, Misato." Shinji's voice was both resigned and tired. "What's the quickest way into Central Dogma from here?" Misato blinked at Shinji's change in direction.

"There's a shaft that connects from the north end of the cages. It opens into the main chamber about five hundred meters from that spot."

"Understood." Was all Shinji said as the line went dead and Unit 01 descended into the darkness. He entered the main shaft of Central Dogma four minutes later and stepped onto a lowering cable put in place for the Evas. Shinji dropped steadily into the chamber, coming up on Kaworu several minutes later.

"Shinji," Kaworu said in his usual airy tone, "you're late." Shinji growled under his breath before yelling.

"Kaworu, what the hell are you doing!" Kaworu looked both amused and surprised.

"I am the seventeenth angel and I am doing nothing more than fulfilling my destiny." Shinji's face grew angrier and he shouted and Kaworu.

"You lied to me! I trusted you! Everyone has lied to me and I want the truth!" Kaworu's face was sad as he regarded Shinji with a measure of sympathy.

"I am sorry Shinji, but I cannot account for the truths of others, only my own. And as for my deception, I am afraid it was necessary to achieve my ends." Shinji yelled and lashed out with his progressive knife only to be blocked by an A.T. Field.

"You have an A.T. Field?" Shinji asked in shock, only to receive Kaworu's forceful reply.

"Yes, but it is only called that by you Lillim. This is the light of my soul, a sacred space in which none can intrude. Did you not know that the A.T. Field is nothing more than the wall that encloses your mind!" As Kaworu said that, he waved his arm and blew Unit 01 off the descent cable and into the chasm below where it landed on its back hard, and Shinji could feel two of his ribs break.

Kaworu descended gently to where Shinji's unit lay and walked on the surface of the LCL lake to where Lillith lay crucified. He manipulated his A.T. Field and rose to the height of Lillith's mask. "Must one who is from Adam return to Adam, even though it will cause the destruction of the human race?" Kaworu paused briefly thinking, until he came to a realization. "Wait, this is not Adam . . . " He paused again before his eyes lit up in understanding. "Of course! The Lillim . . . Lillith!" Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his chest as he felt the barrier around him dissipate. He clutched his chest and looked around to find the source. Out of the shadows stepped First Child and Pilot of Evangelion Unit 00 Rei Ayanami. She looked down on Kaworu coldly before speaking.

"Hello Tabris." Kaworu chuckled and looked up at her.

"Hello sister." Was the only reply he had time to give her before he was caught in the vise grip of Unit 01. He found himself looking directly into its eyes and smiled as he now realized what his destiny truly was. "Shinji, I apologize, for now I realize the deceptions that were placed against me as well." Shinji was out of breath from both the fight and the pain of his broken ribs.

"What do you mean?" was all the reply Shinji could muster before Kaworu spoke again.

"Shinji, I wish for you to kill me." Kaworu could only imagine the pure shock coursing through the boy's mind as his words echoed through it.

"K-kill you?" Shinji echoed verbally, still disbelieving everything that had occurred in the past few minutes.

"Yes," came Kaworu's soft reply. "In all wars, there is no victor but one and ours is not the species that should succeed you. But beyond all that, I would like to thank you Shinji. It was only through you that my life on this Earth was meaningful." Kaworu smiled and closed his eyes, whispering too softly for Shinji to hear. "I accept my destiny." Shinji closed his eyes and screamed in sorrow as he felt Kaworu's body turn to pulp in his hand and heard the head sink into the lake with a hollow 'sploosh'.

Shinji ejected the plug and climbed out as best his broken ribs would allow and swam the five feet to the walkway of Terminal Dogma, clambering onto the platform in pain. He lay there for several minutes, catching his breath as the sound of footsteps came closer to him. They stopped directly above him and he saw Rei's face briefly before all power died in NERV headquarters.

"Rei?" he asked, waving his arm about in the darkness before the red emergency lights switched on.

"I am here Shinji." She said as she guided him to a sitting position and slid her arms under his, helping him stand up and leading him to the cross Lillith was crucified on. She sat down next to him, their backs against the cross. Without warning, Shinji's arms were around her and he was crying against her.

"Where did you go?" he said through choked sobs. "I've been looking for you since your apartment blew up. I found out about my mother and you and I went to see you, but when I got there, your place exploded. I've been worried sick." Rei's face fell and she stood up.

"You know, that part of me is your mother?" Rei asked, hesitantly, to which Shinji nodded solemnly.

"Yeah, I know. But I don't care anymore. It hurt too much when I lost you after the sixteenth and you lost your memories, but to see your apartment explode and burn down hurt more. It was when I heard the Section Two guys say they lost you before it exploded that I realized I didn't want to lose you again. I had to hope you were still alive and I don't want to lose that hope again, ever." Rei began to cry and Shinji wrapped his arms around her as she cry on his shoulder. He wiped her tears off and kissed her deeply on the lips, which she returned just as warmly. "So what do we do now?" asked Shinji, to which Rei smiled.

"We wait." was Rei's cryptic reply.

"For what?" was Shinji's confused question as Rei's smile grew even broader.

"For Third Impact." Shinji stood up quickly and looked at Rei, who seemed unconcerned by the fact that Third Impact was apparently imminent.

"And when is that gonna happen?" Shinji asked nervously. Rei sighed and looked at her watch calmly.

"I can't tell, the Third Impact hand on my watch is broken." Shinji gave Rei a blank look, but started grinning as soon as he understood the joke. Rei chuckled at her own joke before becoming serious again. "Things will begin as soon as Captain Ibuki arrives. I gave her four hours to complete the favor I asked her to perform." As the time passed the two hour-forty five-minute mark, the large steel doors swung open and Maya Ibuki entered Terminal Dogma. She had changed into another jacket following her previous encounter with Rei, yet this one too was now stained with the dark red color of blood. Maya reached into a large black medical bag that was a gift from her family upon graduation from New Tokyo University and pulled out a thick plastic bag loaded with ice that also contained a single, white-gloved hand.

* * *

Author's Note: Long chapter here, one of the longest I've ever written. Speaking of which, I apologize for my long delay. I had important family matters to attend to and they couldn't wait. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the past ones I've turned out. Just know that each is a labor of love. Once again, much love to my reviewers, you guys manage to make these mediocre letters on paper sound like much more than they are and I love you all for it. 

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	13. Chapter 13

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Thirteen: B for Betrayal

"Target confirmed dead. The seventeenth angel has been destroyed." Hyuuga's voice echoed from the console he sat at, causing a general sigh of relief to spread throughout the room. Gendo rose from his chair and nodded to Fuyutsuki, who followed the commander to his office. Misato looked thoughtfully at the screen while Maya stood directly behind her.

"You know, I never thought it'd end like this." Misato said softly as a tear fell from her eye, landing on her red flight jacket. Maya nodded as memories of her encounter with Rei and the plan the First Child had formulated swam through her mind. "Do you think the Evas and NERV will be decommissioned now that the war against the angels has ended?" Misato asked hesitantly. Maya paused and thought briefly before she was interrupted by Misato. "What will they do with Shinji?" The young captain blinked, momentarily taken aback by the question.

"I honestly don't know." was the only answer Maya could provide the disconsolate Colonel Katsuragi.

"Do you think they'll let me adopt him? I mean he has nowhere to go, I'm his only home. Isn't that right?" Misato's voice quickly grew more agitated as she spoke. Maya Ibuki sighed and placed her hands on Misato's shoulders before speaking softly to her superior officer.

"Listen Misato, I don't know what they plan to do with NERV, the Evas, or Shinji. After all, the war's just ended and I can't even tell you what's going to happen five minutes from now let alone as far ahead as you're trying to plan. I'm just going to take small steps toward the future and hope for the best, since that's all any of us can do." Misato nodded and gave Maya a grateful, though teary, smile. Maya checked her watch before speaking again. "I'm going to the medical wing, then to my office to write up my reports. You should do the same, okay?" Misato straightened out her rumpled jacket and wiped her tears away before leaving the command center. Maya watched as Commander Ikari and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki left the bridge and headed to the senior Ikari's office. Captain Ibuki then left, going in the opposite direction of Misato.

In Commander Ikari's office, a holographic projector displayed the GeoFront and its perimeter. Ikari and Fuyutsuki pored over the map while they discussed SEELE's impending attack.

"How long before they mobilize and reach the outskirts of the city?" Fuyutsuki asked, receiving a quick response from his former student.

"If I know Keel's mind half as well as I think I do, then they've already begun moving. Keel leaves nothing to chance which means he's certainly pulled out all the stops. But he also wishes to implement the Evangelion in his plans, therefore we must assume that a military incursion is on the bottom of his list of options."

"Meaning he'll attack the MAGI first." came Fuyutsuki's logical conclusion.

"Indeed, yes. However if that approach should fail SEELE, the military option will become their first priority. If such an event should occur, rest assured that it will be nothing less than a massacre. Keel will want his point to have gotten across, should anyone attempt to betray SEELE as I have done." Gendo finished with a trace of humor in his voice as Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow before speaking.

"You do realize of course that if SEELE does succeed in its acquisition of Unit 01 and initiates Third Impact that there will be no one around who'll actually care about Keel or his point, don't you?" The elder Ikari chuckled before answering,

"Once again I fall victim to your infallible logic, Professor Fuyutsuki."

"And all's right with the world. Estimated time until SEELE's battle group arrives?" Commander Ikari paused, considering the various factors before speaking.

"Judging by this, I'd say we have a window of twenty four to thirty six hours." Vice Commander Fuyutsuki nodded and with that, left the office and its occupant to ponder the next move.

Maya Ibuki walked fast enough to be considered in a hurry, but not fast enough to be considered a jog. She ducked into her office and began rifling through it, trying to find something she could use to complete the grisly task set her by Rei Ayanami. She dug for seven minutes until she found the black leather bag given to her by her parents, both doctors, upon her graduation from New Tokyo University's medical program. She left her office, locked it, and headed for the medical wing. She opened the supply room and began searching for the necessary tools. She took a small hypodermic gun with two chambers, a scalpel, arterial and veinal clamps, skin retractors, a bone saw as well as a large bio-hazard bag and several quantities of smelling salts. She then went to the drug closet and obtained two types of drugs. One was a paralytic that caused instantaneous cancellation of all nerve impulses throughout the body save for the senses. The second was an anticoagulant that prevented the natural clotting processes of the blood. Taken together, they weren't lethal, but the anticoagulant had the odd effect of negating the paralytic's hold on the pain receptors and allowed pain to flow freely through the body. Once she had prepared herself, both in terms of equipment and mentality, she left the medical wing and headed up the elevator to Commander Ikari's office. She passed by the office of the Vice Commander and heard him typing hurriedly on his keyboard. She reached Ikari's door a scant minute or two later and pressed the intercom button.

"Who's there?" came the gruff voice from within. Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she answered as calmly as she could manage.

"Captain Ibuki, sir." Maya heard what sounded like an aggravated sigh before she heard a buzz, followed by a deep 'ker-phonk' sound as the solid titanium locking bolts shot back into the door before Gendo's voice came out of the speaker box once more.

"You may enter Captain." Maya turned the knob and walked inside the cavernous space. She stopped a foot in front of the desk and saluted Commander Ikari, who returned it half-heartedly. "I happen to be rather busy, so if you would please get to the point." Maya's eyes narrowed, though if Ikari noticed it he never said so. In fact, Gendo's attention was poised on the medical bag she held with her left hand.

"I would prefer this be off the record, sir." Gendo nodded and pressed a button on his desk that cut off all audio and video feed to Section Two's surveillance center as his suspicions deepened. "Thank you, Commander." Maya said as soon as the broadcast was ended. "Do you mind if I get a drink of water from the sink in the corner?" Gendo's eyebrow raised fractionally before he answered.

"Not at all, in fact, get one for me as well." Maya smiled and went to the sink as Gendo reached inside his desk for his firearm. She came back two minutes later and handed Commander Ikari his drink right before he pulled his gun on her. She ducked and fell to the floor just as he pulled the trigger and the bullet buried itself in the opposite wall. As he brought the gun down on her, Maya palmed the injector gun and stabbed it through his sock covered leg. Gendo froze for a moment before he went into seizure and began foaming lightly at the mouth from the blood pressure that was beginning to skyrocket as his body went into paralytic shock. He collapsed back into his desk chair as Maya stood up. She looked at Commander Ikari's convulsive form before pushing everything off the desk and using all her might to get the now stilled body of Gendo Ikari on top of it. She stared down at the formerly nightmarish figure laid out on the desk, her face full of formidable conviction.

"Can you hear me, Commander Ikari? I know you can. The drugs I gave you both paralyze you and thin your blood. But when they're combined as they are now, the anticoagulant I injected you with interfere with the paralytic's effect on the pain receptors in your brain. You'll be able to feel everything I do to you. Every ounce of pain I felt when I learned you killed Ritsuko you'll feel before I'm done here. And just to make sure you don't miss any of it, I brought along plenty of smelling salts to keep you awake and alert. However, I suppose I could take added precautions." With that, Maya took off his glasses and threw them to the ground before using the roll of adhesive tape on his desk and taping his eyelids open and shining his desk lamp into his eyes. She observed Commander Ikari carefully as she opened the bag and pulled out her instruments slowly, making sure Gendo caught sight of each one. As she made the first incision and Gendo began to sweat in pain, she knew she had gotten the effect she wanted and fell upon her work.

Fuyutsuki looked up from his computer as he heard what could only be described as a gunshot. Dismissing it as his imagination, he returned to his work, stopping again as heard the sound of loud items clanging to the floor. He saved his work and headed to Commander Ikari's office. He noticed the door was unlocked, most unusual for Ikari after an angel attack. Fuyutsuki opened the door slowly and stepped through to find Maya Ibuki applying the skin retractors to the area surrounding Gendo's right wrist.

"What in the name of God?" was all Fuyutsuki said as Maya whipped around at the sound of his voice. "Maya, what the hell is going on in here?"

"I'm repaying a debt to Rei Ayanami and to my Sempai." Maya stated simply before she turned back to her work, leaving the former professor aghast.

"With what?" was all Fuyutsuki could muster, and this time, Maya didn't even turn her head to answer.

"With Adam." Maya attached the arterial clamps and began sawing easily through the thick bones of the wrist. "Rei's decided to take the scenario in a new direction, along with Shinji, Adam, and Lillith. You can either help me or hinder me and I need to know which it is, right now." Fuyutsuki stopped cold at the ultimatum, looking back and forth between Maya, Gendo, and his past. After five minutes had passed, he took a deep breath and made up his mind, much to the shock of both Gendo and himself.

"Name anything you need." Fuyutsuki replied, causing Maya to whisper a small prayer of thanks while working over Gendo's prone body.

"I need safe passage through NERV, away from the eyes and ears of Section Two." Maya said, standing up from the body, now missing its right hand. Fuyutsuki picked up the phone on the floor and dialed NERV's Facilities Department.

"This is Vice Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki with authorization from Supreme Commander Ikari to implement power loss test 7401-B." Fuyutsuki waited for the response before speaking again. "Implement drill in thirty-five minutes, understood?" The elder man hung up the phone and pressed a button on the desk next to Ikari's barely conscious body. A portion of the wall slid away, revealing a bar. "Preserve the hand in ice, Captain Ibuki, until you reach Terminal Dogma." Maya looked at him quizzically before speaking,

"I never mentioned Terminal Dogma sir. How did you know that's where I was going?" The old man laughed and answered,

"You mentioned Lillith, that's all I needed to hear. I'm old, not senile." Maya winced slightly before apologizing.

I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect." Fuyutsuki waved her off genially,

"None taken, but I should get back to the bridge before the power goes out. But before I do . . . " with that, the vice commander took Gendo's ID card off of his belt and slid it through a crack in the far wall. A door slid open, revealing a personal elevator. "Gendo had this built, should SEELE ever attack and attempt to take Instrumentality by force. It goes directly to the entrance of Terminal Dogma. Gendo wanted to start Third Impact on his own terms, that's what NERV was built for, and why SEELE exists. I'm helping you now because I believe a Third Impact in the hands of Rei and Shinji is far preferable to one in the hands of either SEELE or Shinji's father. I believe you have everything well in hand . . . so to speak, so I'll be off to the bridge now. If we survive this, I will be proud to meet you again, in some far off place." With that, Vice Commander of NERV Kozo Fuyutsuki left, and left Maya alone in the dark with Gendo Ikari. She walked up to him and studied his face briefly before releasing the clamps on his blood vessels, letting them soak the beautiful intaglio of the Tree of Life into a dark red image of a slow, painful death as she walked out of that room forever.

She descended in the elevator endlessly it seemed, until she reached the level of Terminal Dogma. The lights turned blood red around her as the power finally died. She reached the doors marked 'LCL Processing Plant Number One' and pushed them open with her hand. She took a deep breath and held up the bag containing Commander Ikari's cold right hand as she stepped through Heaven's Gate.

* * *

Author's Note: Grim, grisly and gruesome. Those are the only three words I can use for this chapter. Maya gets her revenge and we are set up for the final two or three chapters. I already have an idea for my next project and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as you have this one. You reviewers have shown me nothing but love and I thank you for it. Keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep cranking out my finest.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	14. Chapter 14

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Chapter Fourteen: Apocalyptic Grace

The interior of Terminal Dogma bathed in the rich, reddish glow given off by the emergency lamps that had switched on after Vice Commander Fuyutsuki had given the false order for the power loss simulation. Maya Ibuki slowly walked into the cavernous space that held the crucified form of Lillith, holding the now severed hand of the now close to death commander of NERV in front of her as if it were some religious icon or talisman. Rei closed her eyes and stood up, leaving Shinji on the floor under the cross. Maya handed her the bag as they both stood in the middle of the metal catwalk suspended inches above the reservoir of LCL. Rei extracted the hand from its plasticine casing, then from the glove itself as she took in the sight of the first angel, Adam, shrunk to embryonic form within the palm of the almost by now certainly departed, Commander Ikari. The lighting systems were not the only things affected by the loss of power, the ventilation systems had been shut down as well, causing Maya's knees to sag in nausea as the full stench of the LCL hit her sense of smell head on. Shinji's eyes widened in sick astonishment as his mind registered the sight of his father's hand in the plastic bag that Captain Ibuki now held. Rei rose from her seat next to Shinji and walked to where Maya stood as she tried to keep from vomiting at the smell. Rei held her hand out for the bag and Maya passed it to her wordlessly. Rei made no acknowledgment as she removed the hand and its glove before tossing it into the LCL. Rei closed her eyes in what seemed like prayer before taking a deep breath that seemed to Maya like a giant hand slowly pushing her out the door.

"Captain Ibuki, the time has come for you to leave. Go back to the command center with my utmost thanks. I do not think we will ever see each other again. Farewell . . . Maya. Shinji, you must board the Eva and retrieve the Lance of Longinus. From that point, the duty is mine. Please, trust me Shinji."

* * *

In the command center, triumph turned to confusion as the lights and then the display screens turned to black. Into this chaos reemerged Kozo Fuyutsuki who watched the proceedings with a tired and resigned expression before resuming his duties.

"Colonel Katsuragi, status report." Misato turned to face her superior and tried to mask the surprise she felt at not seeing Commander Ikari at his post.

"All stations report total power loss. Both the MAGI and all telephone lines are inoperable." Misato replied as straightforwardly as possible, though concern was written into the lines she so vehemently denied having on her face. A minute after giving her report, the emergency power supplies engaged, restarting the MAGI and all computer systems and bathing the room in the same blood red glow as Terminal Dogma.

"Colonel, if you could please seal the base and order all perimeter forces to withdraw to the GeoFront." Misato noticed the drawn look on her superior's face and nodded slowly as soon as Fuyutsuki finished giving his order.

"Yes, sir. Execute option 731-R, codename Solitude." She turned to Fuyutsuki before speaking again, "Colonel Misato Katsuragi, director of NERV Operations requesting verification of option Solitude."

"Vice Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki, second in command of the United Nations Special Agency NERV, verifies option 731-R, codenamed Solitude." As soon as Caspar, Balthasar, and Melchior recognized the voices of both Misato and Fuyutsuki, alarms began to sound throughout the complex as metal doors began to slide down behind the ID card readers in the main garage. The tunnels that led into the supply areas were sealed behind seven-inch thick titanium doors, as were the pedestrian entrances that Shinji, Asuka, and Rei had used to enter NERV for their after school sync tests, finally, hidden charges set within the tracks for the car trains were detonated, completely severing NERV from the outside world.

* * *

Commander Ikari's hand bobbed mutely in the tank of LCL within Terminal Dogma, palm side up with Adam exposed to the air as Shinji walked toward Unit 01. Rei observed both Maya and Shinji as they went in their separate directions, Maya toward Commander Ikari's elevator and Shinji toward the Eva. The doors shut behind Maya with chilling finality, comparable to that of a tomb. Shinji's ribs ached with each step, burning more as he attempted to climb into his entry plug. The door slid closed behind him and he felt the forward movement of the plug sliding home before the walls shifted around him, revealing the exterior view as he fully synchronized with the Evangelion. Shinji raised its arms to the main shaft of Central Dogma and expanded his field to its furthest limit.

* * *

Alarms began blaring throughout the command center as Shinji's field began to set off the monitoring systems.

"Where is that alarm coming from?" Misato demanded, sending the bridge crew into a flurry of motion.

"Terminal Dogma!" yelled Aoba, caught off guard by the sudden and intense signal resonating from the deepest part of headquarters. "Pattern identified as . . . Eva Unit 01?"

"High speed object approaching from lunar space!" Hyuuga's shocked voice caused Misato to do a double take as she processed this new piece of information.

"On screen!" came Fuyutsuki's barked command. Seconds later, a red streak appeared on the main display.

"Enhance." Misato said just before the image refined itself and clearly showed the two pronged shape of the Lance of Longinus.

"The object is accelerating. Projected path will impact the GeoFront!" yelled Hyuuga.

"Shinji, what the hell are you doing!" Misato yelled through the com system, only to receive static as a response. Within seconds, the walls and floor of the NERV Complex began to vibrate as the lance entered Earth's atmosphere at an estimated Mach 6.5. Fuyutsuki's now cold mug of coffee shook itself off the edge of his desk in his office and shattered on the floor louder than a gunshot. In Commander Ikari's office, various stainless steel instruments fell to the stone floor with a clatter, save for Commander Ikari, who fell with a wet thump as he landed in a pool of his own blood. He gurgled softly as he felt the feeling return to his legs just before a blood vessel inside his brain burst, an aneurysm caused by the open artery in his wrist as air was pulled into his blood stream by the frantically pumping heart that was attempting to compensate for his excessively thinned blood. So ended the life of Supreme Commander of the United Nations Special Agency NERV Gendo Rokubungi-Ikari. As the vibrations increased inside the command center, monitors began to shatter from the energy caused by the approach of the lance.

"Impact in seven seconds." Stated Aoba, with a sort of nervous calm. Misato simply stared ahead at the screen, at a loss for any solution. She turned to Fuyutsuki, who simply shook his head. Other members of the bridge crew stood, crying and holding on to others for support.

"Shinji, if you can hear me, answer me, please." Misato pleaded through the communications system, receiving nothing but static one again. She cried bitterly as Aoba spoke again, with the same detached placidness.

"Four seconds to impact."

"Set absorbers on maximum, all hands brace for impact." came Fuyutsuki's soft spoken order. Hyuuga nodded and responded.

"Absorbers at full resistance."

"Shinji, please, stop this." Misato made one last broken appeal before Aoba spoke for the last time.

"Impact . . . now." With that, the Lance of Longinus upended itself and struck the ruins of Tokyo-3 with its heel, sending a plume of earth, rock, and steel miles into the air in an enormous cloud before making contact with the GeoFront seconds later. The crew of the command center were knocked onto their backs as the shockwave shattered all four sides of the pyramid and blew open the door to the main shaft of Central Dogma. Maya Ibuki was killed instantly, sliced to ribbons as the huge glass picture windows exploded inwards as she exited Commander Ikari's private elevator. The lance continued its descent, either ripping walls apart with its speed or melting them to near slag with the heat from its re-entry into the atmosphere. The command center's main video screen was attached to the wall that bordered Central Dogma and it too split apart as the lance shot past it, sending steel and glass into the room at high speeds. Those who were fast enough to duck lived, those who weren't, did not. Commander Fuyutsuki was found dead in his chair, run through the chest with a spike of metal. Misato grimaced as she pulled a shard of glass out of her side. She helped some of her dazed coworkers to their feet before she made her way up to Vice Commander Fuyutsuki's seat, only to find him dead in his chair. It was then that she finally noticed the conspicuous absence of Commander Ikari. She looked around for him briefly, before setting off for his office. Misato arrived at Gendo's office six minutes later and unlocked the door with the ID card she had taken from Fuyutsuki's body. She stepped into the office, smelling both blood and fire. She looked around the office and saw Gendo's body on the floor, missing a hand, laying face down in his own blood. She stooped down briefly to take his pulse but rose again quickly after finding none. Misato rounded the desk and saw Maya's mutilated corpse, pieces of glass sticking out every which way. She heard a beeping sound and wheeled around to find its source. The computer on Gendo's desk was flashing a brief message on the screen.

"Forty five minute power loss drill elapsed. Restore power? Y/N?" Misato blinked at the message, then pressed the Y key on the keyboard. Soon, the lights hummed and a holographic map of NERV projected above the desk. Red lights turned green as power was restored. A large area of the map was black, due to damage from the Lance of Longinus. She turned away from the map and noticed a half-open door inside the wall. She pulled open the door, her gun pointed directly in front of her and saw the commander's personal elevator. She stepped in, pressed the solitary button on the panel, and began the long descent to Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Within Terminal Dogma, Shinji felt the ground beneath his feet quake uncontrollably as the lance sped in his direction. Seconds later it arrived as Shinji spread out his A.T. Field to slow it down, but to no avail as it impacted the armor on the chest of Eva Unit 01, causing it to shatter. The purple, black, and green behemoth sank to its knees, holding the red object in its arms as Shinji coughed up a thick jet of blood and mucus knocked loose by the impact inside the entry plug before sinking into unconsciousness. Rei walked up to the Eva and used her A.T. Field to summon the lance to her side. Standing in front of Lillith, Rei undressed until she stood naked.

"Forgive me Shinji, but mine is a destiny you cannot change. Goodbye." With that, Rei began to lift into the air until she hovered directly in front of Lillith's face. _"I am ready."_

"**_Let us begin, child." _**Shinji woke up dazedly, and watched Rei absorb herself into the body of Lillith as it began to peel itself off the cross and the mask fell off to reveal the face of a still young, yet more mature form of Rei Ayanami. The Lance of Longinus shifted as well, changing from a single-ended spear to a double ended one. One end pierced the abdomen of Lillith before the second one struck Adam. As soon as the two sides connected with their respective targets, a great burst of light shot forth from Lillith's body and green sparks of energy conducted themselves down the lance and entered Adam's body, causing one cloudy eye to shoot open. His body began to absorb both the energy and the surrounding LCL, regenerating rapidly. Shinji stared in absolute awe and fear as the First Angel, Adam rose once again. Suddenly, the Eva was pitched into total darkness as he heard his mother's voice from inside the entry plug resonate in his mind.

"**Can you hear me love?" **Shinji clapped his hands over his ears, not willing to believe them. **"Are you planning to run away from me too?" **came the sad voice of Yui Ikari. Shinji then took his hands off the side of his head.

"_Mother?" _Shinji asked hesitantly, only to feel a soft hand stroke his cheek. He rubbed his plug suited hand against hers and started crying.

"**Shhhhh, it's okay baby. I'm here, always have been." **Yui ran her fingers through Shinji's hair for a few minutes before speaking again. **"Shinji, you have to stop Lillith, she's poisoned Rei's mind into believing that reuniting Adam and Lillith will avert Third Impact when what she'll really do is destroy all life on Earth." **Shinji looked at the floor of his entry plug, not wanting to know the answer to the question he knew he had to ask.

"_Will it kill Rei?"_ Yui's silence was answer enough as Shinji began crying bitter tears.

"_Damn the Angels, damn NERV, damn SEELE, damn Father, and damn you! Why do I have to kill her to save the world? I'd rather die and save her than kill her for the sake of this shit hole!" _Yui looked down at the ground and nodded before speaking.

"**Yes Shinji, you can damn us all. You have that right. We each share a great deal of blame in this. But if you don't stop her, both you and this shit hole will be destroyed and no one will ever live to remember Rei or her sacrifice. No Misato, no Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, or Pen Pen."** Shinji broke down further as his friends flashed before his eyes as he tried to imagine his life without them. **"Shinji, you must choose to either sacrifice one or all, including yourself. You can't run or hide from this, it must be faced here and now. I have faith in you, please, find faith in yourself." **Shinji's eyes opened as his mother's voice faded. Looking around he saw that Adam and Lillith had grown to the size of his Eva. The images of his friends still reeled behind his eyes as his mother's words echoed within his mind.

"One or all." whispered Shinji softly while in his mind he endured Misato's teasing, Kensuke's otaku love of the military, Toji's fetish for Misato, and Hikari's class-rep attitude. He found himself crying at the thought of their loss and tightened his grip on the controls as he started Unit 01 forward for the last time. Adam kept growing in size while the LCL formed a whirlpool that rose into his feet as he absorbed the orange liquid. The heads of both angels turned sharply to face Unit 01 as it grabbed hold of the lance. The green sparks that were shooting up and down the length of the lance began to course through the hands of the Eva, causing Shinji to howl in pain. Rei's voice began crackling through the speakers angrily.

"Shinji! Why do you interfere?" Shinji removed one of the hands from the lance and ripped off the armor covering the core of the unit. A third spike shot forth from the lance and impaled itself within Unit 01, causing red sparks to arc down the lance and combine with Lillith's green ones as Adam began to emit blue ones of his own.

"Rei," Shinji began weakly, "if that's you, you have to get out of Lillith right now. She wants to use herself and Adam to destroy the world." Shinji coughed up more blood as he finished speaking. Another voice, this time deeper, but still feminine came from the speakers with a soft chuckle.

"Poor, foolish boy, your Rei is dead, along with you and your world." A solemn male voice came through that Shinji believed to be Adam.

"We are sorry for your loss, but fear not, the rest of your species will be joining you shortly in heaven." Shinji's face hardened as he left his seat with an effort due to the pain from his shattered ribs and drifted to the back of his entry plug, where he opened the control panel for Drive D. Shinji set the detonation sequence for three minutes and returned to his seat.

"Not if I drag the both of you down to hell first." was Shinji's hateful reply as he leaned back in his seat and began counting down the next three minutes.

"Try, human." sneered Lillith through the com channel.

"I don't plan on trying, so watch it happen bitch!" yelled Shinji as he opened his A.T. Field to full power and inverted it, causing it to fold back upon itself and reverse. Normally, A.T. Fields expel incredible amounts of power, yet once inverted they are capable of draining that same level of power. As Shinji inverted his Field, he visualized an inverted tornado, sucking things up from its larger end. Shinji's A.T. Field became that tornado and began absorbing the A.T. Fields of both Adam and Lillith who screamed in agony. Shinji used their A.T. Fields to create a prison of energy that compressed the three of them as Shinji's self-destruct timer counted down the last thirty seconds.

As Lillith's and Adam's power began to drain, so did energy from the rest of the facility, leaving it in darkness once again, along with all the elevators, including Misato's. In retrospect, Misato was glad that her elevator stopped when it did, otherwise, she would not have survived the ensuing destruction. The countdown clock on Shinji's HUD reached fifteen seconds as Adam and Lillith continued their tirades unabated while Shinji kept increasing the pressure of his A.T. Vortex. _"God, if you exist, I want you to know that I'm sorry for never being all that you expected of me. I've hurt a lot of people and let down so many more. I'm not worthy of your love, but I ask for your forgiveness." _Shinji closed his eyes and let his tears flow as the timer moved methodically backwards to four, then three, two, one, and finally zero as a bright flash illuminated Terminal Dogma and a roar of flame spiraled upwards in Shinji's A.T. Vortex up through the main shaft of Central Dogma, into the GeoFront, and out into the twilight sky above.

* * *

Author's Note: I know it looks like it, but it is not the end of the fic! I still have perhaps one chapter and an epilogue to go. Also, I'm sorry for another long delay. Jury duty sucks ass and I can't ask for an excuse as a fan fiction writer. Once again, I love my reviewers who kick much butt. You guys keep me righteous and I love it!

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	15. Chapter 15

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought**

"**..." indicates the voice of Heaven

* * *

**

Chapter Fifteen: _Gloria in Excelsus Deo_ _(Glory to God in High Heaven)_

The column of fire borne from the destruction of Unit 01 spiraled up the main shaft of Central Dogma at incredible speed, shooting a gout of flame inside the command center through the hole made by the Lance of Longinus when it shot down Central Dogma on its way to Terminal Dogma. The inferno sucked both oxygen and any loose paper into its core as it passed the command center up into the GeoFront and into the skies above. As the torrent of flame made its way out, Misato, having kicked out a hatch in the floor of the elevator, climbed down the maintenance ladder in the shaft. She winced with every move, feeling the gash in her side open a little further than the previous step. Misato finally reached the bottom and used the manual release to open the door before pushing herself out of the shaft. She ran to the entrance to Terminal Dogma, only to find the doors blown off their tracks and into the hallway. She stepped into the room, now nothing more than a smoking caldera, a testament to the energies that once battled within the space. Lillith's cross was now nothing more than a pile of molten iron, the catwalk now twisted scrap piled in various places around the periphery of the room and embedded in the walls in others. The LCL that had once defined the room was now evaporated into a noxious steam that exposed a tank whose depth now bordered on fifty feet deep. The walls themselves were scorched black, all paint peeled off by the heat. Misato stepped in as far as the remains of the catwalk could take her without threatening to pull free of the supports that bound it to the wall. She balanced on the edge and pulled out the emergency flashlight she had taken from the body of a dead technician in the command center and flashed it all around the room. She pointed the light at the corner Eva Unit 01 had last been reported as being. Neither the Eva nor the boy who was its pilot responded as Misato called his name frantically. She angled the light up at the walls, then forward at the remains of Lillith's cross. She pointed the light downwards into the tank, seeing only the tattered remains of a blood soaked white glove. Misato fell to her knees and wept uncontrollably, screaming out both Shinji's and Rei's names. She looked up and saw a bright streak of flame shooting upwards as it did the impossible and pierced the sky itself, sending a light of incomparable brightness down to the world below.

* * *

Those who remained alive in the command center and the complex at large stumbled out into the formerly park like grounds of the GeoFront. Even though they'd suffered great losses in the past few hours, the staff of NERV would always remember the sight of the GeoFront that day. Whenever Hyuuga Makoto was asked by a reporter or any other interested entity, he would always describe it in the same exact manner.

"The first thing you felt when you stepped out of the building and onto the grounds was the smell. The sickeningly sour stench from the bodies of the perimeter troops we had withdrawn that were now burning. The plants and trees were just decimated, the lake had evaporated and left a cloud of steam hanging over our heads that just made the smell so much worse. The heat was unbearable, I think six people in all fainted from the heat and rank smell alone. I remember carrying Aoba in my arms, looking around for somewhere to lay him where he wouldn't get burned alive. I put him down underneath an overhang of the main building and took a look around to see if there were other people to help. When I did, I remember wanting to claw my own eyes out, just so I could be sure I'd never see anything like that again. The GeoFront was burned black, trees scorched to ash, even the soil was burned to nothing. Sand was melted to glass and the structures of the buildings were shattered. The concrete towers were rubble, the NERV pyramid seemed to have been compressed inwards by the force of the blast, all of its glass and titanium mirroring warped and twisted. To me, the smell, sight, heat, and sound of my co-workers and friends screaming gave me the impression that I was truly in hell."

Hyuuga looked upwards at the pillar of fire that rose into the sky as day turned to dusk then into a day brighter than the light of innumerable suns.

* * *

Misato shielded her eyes as the light struck them directly before she rose shakily and turned to run out the door and back to Commander Ikari's private elevator. She moved back into the elevator shaft and began the arduous climb up as she heard a loud pinging sound and saw the cable begin to move. Misato froze as she saw the elevator begin to descend toward her and gain speed steadily. Closing her eyes and praying for the best, Misato let go of the ladder, fifteen steps above the floor. She landed hard on her ankle, hearing a snap louder than a gunshot as she dragged herself out of the shaft and onto the floor beside the elevator. As the elevator stopped, she propped herself up along the wall and limped forwards as blood began to drip from her side again. Misato entered the elevator and slumped against the far wall after pressing the button that would begin her ascent. Twelve minutes later, Misato arrived at the practically demolished office of the late Gendo Ikari. She knelt down and closed Maya's eyes gently and limped around the desk, where she stood and contemplated the corpse of her former superior before emptying her clip into his body, images of Shinji flashing before her eyes. Misato walked on, leaving her gun on the floor as she attempted to find the closest path to the GeoFront.

* * *

The door swung open behind Hyuuga Makoto as he stood transfixed by the bright light streaming through what appeared to be a hole in the sky itself. He swung around at the sound of the door and rushed to assist a badly bruised and bleeding Misato Katsuragi. The pair stood and looked in awe as the flame, still under the influence of Shinji's A.T. Vortex appeared to swallow the sky itself, tearing a large part of it away and revealing a light brighter than all the stars in the sky. All those in the GeoFront fell to the ground at the sound of trumpets and a voice, deeper and richer than any heard upon the Earth since time immemorial echoed through the sky and descended upon them and shook the very foundations they stood upon.

"**Alleluia and amen I say to you. Behold the Kingdom of the Lord thy God, who lives and reigns forever and ever!" **The remaining members of NERV fell to their knees and cast their faces to the ground as the bright light softened and revealed a great city that thousands of smaller lights circled around. The fire that passed out of Terminal Dogma dissipated as Adam and Lillith finally lost their struggle and died along with Evangelion Unit 01 and its pilot, Shinji Ikari. **"Behold Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami, my son and daughter, through whose sacrifices you have been redeemed! Sing alleluia, ye peoples of the Earth!" **Misato began crying again as her mind finally processed the death of both Rei and Shinji. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and turned to find Hyuuga next to her, squeezing her shoulder gently. She gripped his hand for support and buried her head in his shoulder, weeping openly. The light faded slowly as the sky returned to normal as the vortex slowed, then disappeared entirely. The members of NERV rose slowly before filing out of the GeoFront and using the manual exit systems to leave what remained of the NERV complex. Yet as soon as everyone had left, the sky opened once more and thunder rolled and trumpets sounded, causing the ground to quake again as fire burst from the heavenly city and consumed the GeoFront entirely. Fire once again poured through Terminal Dogma, blasting open the door behind the molten remains of Lillith's cross. The fire seemed almost sentient, swallowing everything in the facsimile of Rei's apartment before plunging down the shaft of the DNA-designed elevator, shattering it and sending the elevator itself plummeting into the depths. The bones of the wasted Evangelion prototypes were incinerated to ash along with the rotted bodies of the clones of Rei Ayanami. The hurricane of fire poured forth from the main shaft of Central Dogma into the Command Center and through the open doors and hallways into the elevator shafts where it exited on all floors, devouring each and every thing in its path. The flames burst forth from all sides of the pyramid, causing it to explode and finally collapse into its lower levels as the GeoFront imploded upon itself just before the main fusion reactor went critical and burst into a maelstrom of nuclear energy with the equivalent power of thirty-three megatons, contained safely below the tons of rock that were minutes ago the walls of the GeoFront. The assembled looked up in awe once more as the sky sealed itself and the light of the golden city was hidden once again. Yet the voice spoke once more from behind the curtain of the sky. **"To those who have seen My city and heard My voice, take heed! Do not forget this day, for the day of My return is fast approaching. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the one who was, is, and forever shall be. Let all who hear My voice keep these words close to their hearts and say _'Behold! He is coming soon.'."_ **One by one they fell to their knees and began praying fervently, almost as if the great prophets or even the apostles themselves had returned to life and were ministering in front of their eyes. One of the technicians from the Command Center whispered a psalm, others prayed the Our Father, still others spoke the Hail Mary. Others turned and fled in fear, yet no one could deny that they had felt something that amounted to more than they knew or believed possible.

* * *

Shinji Ikari was woken by two sounds he never expected to hear again, the sound of someone humming and the sound of running water. He opened his eyes slowly, then shut them again as a bright light streamed into his eyes, making them water. He opened his eyes again, forcing them to stay open and adjust to the light before he sat up. He looked around and found himself in a courtyard on a stone bench next to a beautifully tiled fountain. The courtyard was green, lush, and spacious. Shinji was vaguely reminded of a picture from an American history book that depicted the central courtyard of a mission in California. Dimly, Shinji caught a voice in his mind that said something that sounded like Capistrano. Shinji stood up and began to walk through the halls of the mission as made his way through the crowded spaces. He passed full stables, a loud hall with a long table piled high with food, drink, and the noise of people laughing and singing. He was about to pass the almost silent library when he heard a faint scratching from within. He walked in cautiously, but froze in shock as he registered the sight of former Vice Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki poring over a dusty scroll while taking detailed notes. Shinji stepped forward hesitantly and called out the older man's name softly.

"Vice C-Commander Fuyutsuki?" Fuyutsuki raised his head absently and looked around until his eyes came to rest on Shinji's form standing just beyond the door.

"My God, Shinji, is that you?" was all the former college professor could manage as he stood up and walked to the former Third Child. Fuyutsuki put his hands on Shinji's shoulders and kneeled down slightly to look him directly in the eye before pulling the young Ikari into a hug and crying. Shinji returned the hug awkwardly before asking the question he already knew to be true.

"Am I dead?" Fuyutsuki looked at Shinji sadly before nodding and lowering his head.

"Yes, Shinji, we both are. As is everyone here." Shinji sighed deeply and sank into one of the library's chairs.

"So this is Heaven or Hell?" asked Shinji, only to receive a grim look from his former superior.

"Considering I didn't see your father on the way in, I can only suppose this is Heaven." At the mention of his father, Shinji looked up sharply before asking another question with a desperate look in his eyes.

"What about Rei? Is she here?" Fuyutsuki shook his head before answering.

"I've not seen her Shinji, but that doesn't mean she's not here. From what I've been reading, Heaven is an infinite space of which this is only a very small part." Shinji nodded in understanding and was about to leave when Fuyutsuki spoke up again. "I know how you died and I would just like to say how proud I am of you." Shinji turned back to his former commander and gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks, but, I really don't feel like accepting anyone's appreciation at the moment. At least, not until I find Rei." With that, Shinji left the library and headed into a beautiful chapel whose altar was lined with twenty-four karat gold leaf, giving the whole room a soft yellow glow as the sun streamed in through the stained-glass windows. Shinji walked up to the altar and knelt on the stone floor in front of it before kissing the ground upon which he knelt. Shinji wept as thoughts of losing Rei flooded his mind, only to be brought back to reality by another familiar voice.

"Shinji, stop embarrassing yourself and get off the floor." Shinji shot up like a bullet and whirled around to see Asuka Langley Soryu standing in the doorway and smiling at him tenderly. "Hey Third, long time no see." Shinji ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her mid-section tightly, crying tears of both loss and joy. Asuka wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "It's ok Shinji, you'll be ok." After Shinji's tears had stopped, the pair of them went walking around the mission, eventually meeting up with Maya Ibuki who threw her arms around both Shinji and Asuka and expressed her sadness at being informed that her sempai, Ritsuko Akagi, had ended up on the other side of Death's door. Maya left soon after, Shinji and Asuka having informed her that Fuyutsuki was in the library. After Maya left, Asuka and Shinji found themselves besides the same fountain that greeted Shinji upon his awakening only to find Arihiko Kumakura sitting on the bench Shinji had formerly occupied. Kumakura took no notice of them as they stood there while he ate an apple and observed the birds as they twittered happily in the branches above. As he got up to leave, he finally noticed Shinji and Asuka.

"Shinji Ikari. I see you lived a good, long life." noted Arihiko dryly, anger and contempt seeping in slowly.

"Actually, it was far better than I thought it would be." replied Shinji with no small hint of pride. "I forgave Asuka, fell in love with Rei, stood up to my father, and died to protect the people I love. So, yes, I think I made out fairly well for myself." Arihiko regarded Shinji carefully for several minutes before speaking again.

"So what did you learn, now that all's said and done?" Shinji considered the question for several long minutes before answering.

"I've learned that you can't run away from your problems or ignore them. The worst kind of action is inaction. You have a responsibility to bear your own weight and abandoning it for others to deal with causes nothing but more pain. To bear hatred in your heart hurts yourself and others. But by bearing love in your heart, you can only bring about things that will help others. But most importantly, that sometimes there is no good decision. Along the way, you will be required to make sacrifices that will hurt you but you must sacrifice them, not for your own good, but for the good of those around you. All selfishness does is hurt others." As Shinji finished, he heard the voices of his friends and family echo through his mind as he spoke the words they said. "The lines of this world are thin, but they do exist within your own heart. There is a line between righteousness and self-righteousness, love and greed, justice and vengeance, hope and foolishness, sacrifice and needless waste, and between fear and hate. My life is over and I am proud of both myself and what I've done with it." Arihiko stood in front of Shinji, wordless for several minutes before he began to applaud with pride.

"Well, it seems my gift was worth something after all." was Kumakura's reply as he turned around and walked to the gates of the mission, throwing them wide open and revealing the vast expanse of Heaven, where on the other side of the gate stood an expectant Rei Ayanami and a beaming Yui Ikari, Maya Ibuki, Kozo Fuyutsuki, Shigeru Aoba, and lastly, Ryoji Kaji. Together, Shinji and Asuka ran for the gates where Shinji embraced Rei, who now had black hair, yet still had the red eyes Shinji so loved. Asuka went directly to Kaji, giving him nothing more than a peck on the cheek and a deep hug. Kaji returned the hug and turned to Shinji who was kissing Rei deeply, despite the throat clearing noises Yui was making. Kaji and Aoba whistled along with Arihiko while Fuyutsuki and Maya were content to watch the goings on with a smile. "So, now what do all of you plan to do?" asked Arihiko as soon as Rei and Shinji broke their kiss.

"Go our separate ways, I suppose." replied Fuyutsuki with a half-shrug of his shoulders to which Maya shook her head.

"I think we've been through far too much together to ever be truly parted." replied Maya.

"True enough." responded Aoba. "But we can't all just like, live together, y'know. I kinda need my space." The rest of the assembled group nodded as Yui spoke up.

"I'll be taking Shinji, Rei, and Asuka with me, if they like."

"And in the meantime, we wait for our friends to join us." Shinji said, thinking of Misato, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, and Pen2. With that, they split up. Maya walked off with Aoba and Fuyutsuki while Asuka, Rei, and Shinji went side by side with Yui Ikari as Kaji walked alone to his apartment. Shinji walked along silently, eyes closed, seeing the world below as it moved of its own accord. He focused on Misato, who was limping along with Hyuuga's arm around her shoulders, keeping her steady. He saw Toji, holding Hikari's sobbing form as the news helicopters began circling the former city of Tokyo-3 and broadcasting the destruction of NERV as the penguin that Misato had given into Hikari's care laid its head on the former class rep's lap. He then visualized Kensuke, with his head hung low also crying at the news.

* * *

In another part of the world, the news was being viewed in quite a different light as Keel Lorenz hurled a remote control at the wall, causing it to shatter violently. A low thrumming sound began to shake the walls as the acrid smell of sulfur began to pour into the room. Without warning, a section of the wall began to melt away and through the resulting hole, a figure emerged. Long silver hair cascaded down its back in a ponytail while a pair of glowing yellow eyes bored into Keel's eyes. Every inch of skin was burned black and horribly scarred. Keel fell back as he tripped over his chair. Like a flash, the figure was on him, snarling and exposing every one of his rotted, yet still sharp, teeth.

"You failed me, Lorenz. Failed me in the most incomprehensibly pathetic way." The being raised his clawlike hand and prepared to rip open his chest before being slammed back against the wall.

"Lucifer! Once again you move against the Throne! Your insolence is what got you expelled from Heaven the first time!" The being raised its disfigured head and growled at the being that stood in front of him.

"Michael! This world is mine! Look inside the hearts of every being that walk this planet and tell me you cannot see that which truly resides within their hearts!" as Lucifer spoke, Keel slowly got up and attempted to move toward the exit, only to be stopped by the point of Michael's spear in his chest, dissolving him instantly. Lucifer lowered his body and charged the archangel who cast him down from heaven, only to be stopped by Michael's upraised palm which hit him like a physical blow and sent him once again into the wall.

"I expel you from this realm Lucifer. Go now and heed the words of your master, for it is not you who holds the keys to your domain but the Master's son, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit forever and ever! I banish you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen!" As Michael finished speaking, a great wind blew and sent Lucifer flying back through the hole he had made before it sealed up. Michael then picked up his spear and struck the ground with the handle, causing SEELE headquarters to collapse almost instantly, never to be seen or found ever again.

* * *

Author's Note: One more chapter to go and this fic will be completed. Long ride, but well worth it. I even have some ideas for my next fic in mind and I hope it'll turn out as good as this one. Sending my love to my reviewers again, your words have helped me make the most of this fic.

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


	16. Chapter 16

Title: A Spark that Becomes a Flicker, Becomes a Flame

Author: eva-unit-01

Disclaimer: Do I own Eva? No. Do I have money? No. Will you get anything from suing me about this fic? Hell no. On with the story.

"..." Indicates speech

"_..." indicates thought or emphasis_

"**..." indicates sub thought

* * *

**

Epilogue: Those Joined 'Round Our Table

The fact that people die was nothing new to Misato Katsuragi. In fact, you could almost say that death was one of her constant companions. So it came as no surprise as she lay in her deathbed, having reached the ripe old age of eighty-two. Her other companion, Pen-Pen, had passed on while Misato was in her fifties. Hyuuga had died in his seventies after a long, fulfilling life as a member of the clergy. She had abandoned military service immediately after NERV was destroyed and officially decommissioned by the United Nations. Misato had no children of her own, but by her bedside there were always two photos. One was the sketch made of her in her college days with a perpetually unshaven Kaji, flanked by a perpetually aggravated Ritsuko Akagi. The other photo featured Kaji, once again with his perpetual five o'clock shadow, along with Shinji, Asuka, and Rei, with herself sitting on the hood of her car behind Shinji. She took one last look at the latter photo and smiled tenderly before letting go of her last breath.

She awoke several minutes later in a comfortable futon as the sound of conversation and the smell of food. She slowly rose and looked around to find herself in an exact replica of her former apartment in Tokyo-3. She stepped out of the bedroom and made her way into the kitchen to see Shinji cooking at the stove alongside a brown haired woman as Asuka and someone who looked like Rei both sat at the table accompanied by Hyuuga, Aoba, Maya, Kaji, Fuyutsuki, and Asuka's mother Kyoko.

* * *

Hyuuga walked through the grove of olive trees behind the monastery he presided over in Italy. The sun was bright, but not hot, and the wind wafted the smell of the olives in his direction. He smiled up at the sky, while he mentally reviewed the notes he had written for tomorrow's sermon. He thought back to the events that had occurred after the end of NERV. He retired immediately from the military and spent over a year deciding his next path. Hyuuga lay in bed one night, unable to rest as the words of God returned to his ears.

"**Let all who hear My voice keep these words close to their hearts and say _'Behold! He is coming soon.'."_** It was the next day that Hyuuga sold all of his belongings save for his essentials and enrolled in a seminary. Three years later, Hyuuga Makoto was ordained as a priest by the Bishop of New Osaka. Time rolled by as it always had, eventually leading him to this small monastery in the southern Italian province of Calabria. He took a seat beneath one of his prized olive trees and closed his eyes to nap for a while before dinner. It was there that he died at the age of seventy-six.

He awoke under the same olive tree as the sun was descending into the horizon. He dusted himself off and walked back to the monastery through the fields. Hyuuga opened the back door to the monastery to find himself in Misato's apartment with Shinji and Yui cooking while Asuka, Maya, Aoba, Kaji, and what appeared to be a black-haired Rei sitting at the table alongside someone who looked like a more mature Asuka.

* * *

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu's body ached all over. Purgatory had been her home for the past eight years, and now, she was closer to its end than ever before. Her neck had broken instantly as the rope pulled itself taut around her neck. The only thing that had saved her from damnation was the fact that those above had taken pity on her upon discovering that she had not been in her right mind. She stretched out her hand toward the narrow opening from which the Light of Heaven emerged. She reached until she was sure her arm would fall off only to feel a sure hand grip her wrist and pull her up. She shielded her eyes from the light and fell unconscious.

She woke up in a small bedroom in an apartment, feeling hungrier than she had ever been in life. Kyoko stepped cautiously out of the bedroom, not recognizing her surroundings. She rounded the corner and saw Asuka sitting at the table with a young black-haired girl.

"A-Asuka?" was all Kyoko could manage as her daughter stood up from the table in astonishment.

"Mama?" was all the response Asuka could give before she ran into her mother's arms sobbing. As Kyoko ran her fingers through Asuka's hair, she began to cry as well.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I never should have left you. I wasn't myself, you have to know that." said Kyoko through her tears to which Asuka nodded.

"I know Mama, I know. It's okay now. We're together now." replied Asuka, leading her mother to the table.

* * *

As soon as Misato sat at the table, Shinji and Yui brought the food to the table and the assembled party joined hands. Yui smiled at everybody and asked Rei kindly,

"Rei, would you like to say the opening prayer?" Rei nodded and cleared her throat before speaking.

"Our Father . . . who art five blocks down on the left next to the NeverClose Mart-ow!" Rei yelled before bending down and rubbing her ankle, after being kicked sharply by Asuka, who was busy trying to stifle a laugh, but instead got everyone else trying to hold back their giggling until the room burst out in explosive laughter.

* * *

It turned out to be another forty years before Toji, Hikari, and Kensuke joined them, before which Shinji married both Rei and Asuka in a joint ceremony with Misato and Kaji. Maya ended up as Misato's maid of honor and Shinji as Kaji's best man and vice versa. Asuka's and Rei's maids of honor were Kyoko and Misato respectively.

Suppertime came once again to the Ikari household, with all guests in tow. This time, Shinji recited the opening prayer.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the Power, the Kingdom, and the Glory forever and ever, Amen."

* * *

Shinji Ikari sat on the balcony after dinner was ended with his wife Rei, lying on his chest in the same way she had the night before she sacrificed her second body during the fight with the sixteenth angel. The night was cool and perfectly still, though Shinji still felt a heat from within his chest that felt like a flame burning inside his body. He ran his fingers through Rei's hair, causing her to stir and look into his eyes.

"Something wrong Shinji?" she asked curiously. Shinji smiled gently and shook his head before looking up into the sky and whispering to himself.

"God's in His Heaven, and all's right with the world."

The End

* * *

Author's Note: Alas, this fic is finally completed. A fond farewell I wish it, hoping that anyone who stumbles across it will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am usually my own harshest critic, and while I think I did a fair job, some part of me always knows I should have done better. Please read and review, and rate my fic using the simple 1-10 scale. If you feel so inclined, please also tell me the parts you either loved or hated.

Speaking of reviewers, I really want to send all my reviewers my thanks and appreciation. Be sure to come back for my next act, where I will attempt to pull a Harry Potter/Lunar Legend Tsukihime crossover out of my hat! That's right folks! Blue Blue Glass Moon Under the Hogwarts Air coming soon!

Sincerely, eva-unit-01


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